Last night I watched a sermon about broken pieces. It was really encouraging to me. And two verses keep popping up: II Corinthians 12:9 "And he has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." and Romans 8:18-23 "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the anxious longing of the creation waits eagerly for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it , in hope that the creation itself also will be set free from its slavery to corruption into the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now. And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body." I'm still struggling, but I know God is there with me and He'll make something from these broken pieces.
Billy had a bad morning today and I wasn't very patient. He got out with his "person" a little while ago. I've been so anxious for time without him, but now that he's gone, I can't think what to do. That seems to be my constant problem. I have no interest in anything anymore.
Since Scott died, I've been praying for a dream about him so I could be with him again, even if it's just in my mind. Finally last night I dreamed we were shopping for motorhomes. It felt good to be with him. Even if yesterday and today have been marked by crying, missing him.
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