Telephonic Invasion and Chick Fights

I have never been much for talking on the phone. I think I inherited that quality from my dad, who never liked to talk on the phone either. Don't get me wrong, I will talk if someone else calls me and be perfectly happy about it, but I am terrible about calling other people. I could blame it on the children and say that I am too busy and there isn't much quiet time to talk on the phone, but I don't think I called that much when I was a teenager either. I talked a lot as a teen, but usually when someone else called me, as I remember it. When I called someone else, I somehow took it personally if they couldn't talk, almost like a rejection. Well, maybe not so much that as I felt embarrassed that I had bothered them. So, from then on, I was afraid to call for fear I would be intruding. I think it's also because I get excited to talk to someone and then if they aren't there or can't talk, I feel a let-down. I don't even like making business related calls. It makes me uncomfortable. I think the reason for that is that I get tongue-tied. I know what I want to say, but once I am put on the spot, I freeze and can't think of the words I had rehearsed. Yes...I sometimes rehearse what I am going to say...don't laugh. I often hang up, only to recall something that I had meant to remark or query, but had forgotten. I am one of the few people that would prefer speaking to a machine, pressing numbers to make choices, or do as much as I can online and with email!

I wish I wasn't this way. I think it makes people upset with me for not calling them and as a result, I wonder if I have lost friends or failed to make friends.

So, for that reason, I don't talk on the phone much. Mostly just to Chris, who calls me several times a day. I talk to my mother maybe once a week (she and my brother like to text me as a rule). Other than that, maybe a few random calls here and there, but nothing regularly and nothing much to speak of. My phone is pretty quiet. The most common ringtone I hear, by far, is the one I assigned to Chris. Sounds sad, but I have resigned myself to it. When I delivered newspapers, I would have nightly chats via a hands-free attachment to my cell phone with a friend who also delivered papers. It was easy to carry on a conversation doing something as menial as flinging papers, there were no children to interrupt, and it kept us both awake. But, after she quit (and me too, not long after), my phone usage went back to sporadic. It makes for cheap cell phone bills! My husband, however, is the exact opposite. He will keep calling people until he finds someone available to talk when he's in a loquacious mood. He spends most of his day with his phone pressed to his ear. When we were first married and I arrived in Germany, where he was stationed, he warned me to use the phone sparingly. They charge per click--which I think was every 6 seconds, if I remember right--even for local calls. Turned out, he was the one to worry about. Most of the calls on the phone bill were his.

All that background aside, I was pleasantly surprised to receive several phone calls in the last couple of days. I had forgotten that I had that ringtone on my phone! Ha, ha. We are hosting a send-off party for Chris' foster parents, who will be moving to Canada later this year to begin their missionary work. We had sent out invitations, with an RSVP plea so we can ascertain whether to expect a few people or hundreds. I had three calls about their party. Then my friend from the newspaper, whom I mentioned in the previous paragraph and had not talked to for some time, called. We spoke for over 45 minutes. We likely would have chatted longer, had my doorbell not interrupted and caused me to have to excuse myself. Then today, Kimmy's friend's father (who is also their gym teacher) returned a call that I had made to his wife regarding Kimmy's upcoming birthday party. That was an interesting call because, while I have met him a couple of times, I was not aware of the fact that he and I had attended the same middle school and high school. So we chatted a bit. The girls were VERY interested in seeing his picture in my yearbook and Arrena has been carrying it around, looking dumbfounded, ever since. I think it's fun when I run across someone I knew long ago or at least crossed paths with. It's amusing to see their picture and know where they came from. I always feel that when people meet me now, they are missing much of the picture, by not knowing who I have been, if that makes any sense.

Anyways, five different callers may not be a big deal for some, but for me it was big-time busy because I usually don't receive that many calls in five MONTHS! And that is in addition to the calls I made for Kimmy birthday and speaking with Arrena's friend's mom about an upcoming sleepover. I feel all talked out now! At least when I was on the phone with my friend, I multi-tasked, doing dishes and cleaning the kitchen, dining room, and my bedroom while I was on the phone. Should have done that during the other calls as well... (Ugh!)

This afternoon, I took the kids to the splash park. For those of you who DON'T know what that is, it's a park with lots of "sprinkler" or fountain-type protrusions that spray the kids with water. My kids love it. There was a bench nearby that had some personal belongings on one end, so I sat on the other end and played solitaire on my phone and watched the kids. Pretty soon, two teenage girls, one teenage boy, and a little girl came back to the bench and I assumed the belongings were theirs. They had been sitting there next to me for a little while and I had paid them no mind until I felt a jolt of the bench. It startled me and I looked up and the two teenage girls had leapt to their feet and had each other in a headlock in front of me. At first, I was dumbfounded as to what was going on. It was just a struggling mass of bodies and I was trying to determine if someone was being assaulted or robbed and if I should step in to assist someone. When one raised her head, I finally figured out that it was the two girls and they were involved in a cat fight. One threw the other down hard on the concrete and I decided that it was time to deliver a brief motherly lecture. I lowered my phone and said, "Y'all need to take this somewhere else, away from all these children!" To my surprise, they acquiesced. They moved off over by the park building in the grass about 100 yards away and proceeded to pummel each other. The little girl was trying to call her mom, but couldn't reach her. Another mother nearby remarked to me, incredulous (and I suspect somewhat appalled), "They are really fighting over there." I just shrugged and said, "At least they went over there."

I used to be the type that minded my own business. I never spoke up, I kept to myself. And I still felt young enough, not to be in a position of authority over other young people. But, I am now of the mindset that it "takes a village to raise a child." In a better world, parents would teach their children to behave, but since that obviously ISN'T the case, I have no qualms anymore about teaching their children myself. Even if they happen to be standing right there. If I, or someone like me, doesn't, who will? Obviously not their parents--and we end up with a very rude and selfish generation.

For example, one day I was waiting for my girls to get out of school and Billy was playing in the sand with some of the other preschool-aged children whose parents were also waiting for older siblings. A couple of the children started to throw sand, which is all the invitation that Billy needs before his thin restraint cracks and he starts grabbing handfuls. None of the parents were making a move to intervene, so I stalked over, snatched Billy up by the arm and scolded the other children, "No throwing sand!" Then I removed Billy from the instigators.

Just a couple of weeks ago, the kids and I were at the YMCA outdoor water park. I was holding Billy and some little boy came by us, way too close, and was thrashing about and hit me hard in the mouth. He didn't mean to, but he was being careless and I was mad. So, I stopped him and said, "You need to watch what you're doing! You just hit me!" He apologized and went away.

So, if you are a parent of one of these holy terrors, don't be surprised or offended if you overhear me telling your child to excuse themselves when they push past us at the zoo or act rudely in any situation which confronts me. My children get the same lecture.

Okay, that gets me all worked up, so I'll close with a picture of Arrena's cactus garden that she made this week. Maybe it will have a calming effect.

My Ambitions

I have been thinking about what I want to do when Billy starts school in two years. If the way time has been flying by lately is any indication, those two years will be gone before I know it. I had thought I might change my work schedule and work during the day and be home at night, but decided against that. First there's the practical reasons--what if one or all of the kids get sick, what about inservice days/holidays/summer, and what about helping out in the classroom? But, then there's also the selfish reasons--think of all the things I can be doing with my free time! At first, I was only thinking about being able to keep the house clean, lounge around and watch what I want on TV, work on my scrapbooking, and going to the store and other random errands by myself. And I was also looking forward to using that free time to be able to volunteer somehow. I'm not sure yet in what capacity, but I really want to help others in some way, whether it's serving lunch at the Lord's Diner or folding clothes at His Helping Hands or visiting at a nursing home or being a slightly older candy striper at a hospital. And I have often thought I would work on completing my degree. But, the other day, I decided that there are also some other things I would like to do. I want to take some "frivolous" classes. Some of these things may seem off-the-wall, even to those of you who know me well. I might like to continue my piano lessons, for example. I only took six months when I was in grade school--not even enough for one piano recital. It was enough to teach me to read music and that was about it. Or, I was thinking about taking guitar lessons. I could find a guitar at a pawn shop and learn enough just to putter around with. And as long as I am thinking about music, I have often thought of taking voice lessons. I love to sing--I can barely stand to just LISTEN to music--I feel compelled to sing along! It would be nice to improve my voice. Not that I plan on launching a professional music career, but it would be nice for me. Chris and I have talked about taking dance classes. Shhh...don't tell anyone that he said that--it might ruin his reputation! We thought it might be a fun activity for us to do together and possibly foster a little romance. I love dancing, but I am so clumsy and uncoordinated. But, it might be fun! I'd also like to take some computer courses. I know an average amount about computers, but I'd like to know more, especially HTML. And finally (so far), I think I might take some writing courses, as I'd like to eventually list my occupation as "writer." This blog is good practice, but I think some writing courses would be good for me as well. Maybe I will tackle one of these endeavors per school year. The only trouble is deciding which I want to do first--they all sound fun! Oh well, at lease I have two more years to decide.

Fun Weekend

I really like having weekends off now! Chris' mom got married Friday night. I didn't go. Well, for one, it's her sixth marriage. For two, they've been talking about it for a while, but they didn't give us definite plans until Wednesday, so that was too late for me to get the day off. The kids didn't go either because it was at someone's house and there was also a party going on over there (drinking, stripper, need I say more?). Anyways, after the wedding, they picked up the kids and took them for most of the weekend. Jack is going out of town to work, so he wanted to spend some time with the kids before he left. He's the closest thing they have to a grandpa since both our dads have passed and Chris' foster dad lives in Texas (soon to be Canada). Jack's a little strange, but he loves the kids and they like him a lot too. Anyways, this left Chris and I free!

After work Friday night, I went to the grocery store, as is my custom. Chris had been out with friends, but was home when I got home. It was late, so we slept in Saturday morning, which is VERY rare. It was after 10am before we roused and still we snoozed and lounged in bed until after 11. It was after noon before we were showered and dressed and ready to go anywhere. We went and ate lunch at his uncle's restaurant. After that we did a little bit of shopping. We went to this craft store that I really like and bought Kimmy some Webkinz for her birthday. Then we went to the party store and bought invitations for her party. After that, we went to Sam's Club to renew our membership there and then browsed the tents and camping gear. We found a tent we liked, but we decided to shop around first. We checked WalMart and found one we really liked at a good price and also a screen house that was pretty cheap (it matched too!). We decided to try the Coleman outlet, but it was closed. We went to the flea market and found an Indian/Eagle painting for Chris' mom and Jack for a wedding gift. We had wanted to go to the drive-in, but there weren't any movies playing that we really wanted to see. So we checked all the theaters and didn't find anything worth seeing, so we ate dinner out and then went home. We snuggled on the couch and watched two videos. By that time, it was after 10pm, so we decided to hop on his bike and we took off to get ice cream. We rode around a bit and then went home to bed.

It was so fun being by ourselves for a whole day. We really enjoyed hanging out together and just goofing off, without having to be anywhere or do anything. Very relaxing. And since I tend to stick close to home most of the time, it was nice to be out most of the day.

Sunday morning, the kids came home and we went to church. They had a great time at Vacation Bible School this week and were sad for it to be over. I hated wasting gas going back and forth, so I tried to find something to occupy my time while they were there. I went to the YMCA every day except Monday. I loved the shower time there! I never get to relax in the shower. It's always quick because I can't trust the kids that long. At the Y, there was strong water pressure that I don't have at home, so it felt like a massage on my head, neck, and shoulders. I brought all my pampering stuff: facial scrub, foot scrub, etc., and took long showers. Friday, I pampered myself further and got my nails done! I haven't done that since I was pregnant with Billy!

Anyways, we finally joined the church that we have been attending for several months.

After church, we bought the tent and screen house we had seen at WalMart. Then we ate lunch at Red Robin's and the kids were thrilled by a guy that was walking around making balloon animals. We went home and Kimmy and I went to Toys 'R Us so she could show me what she wanted for her birthday. We did it the high tech way--instead of writing it down, I took pictures with my digital camera!

I test-drove a new chicken recipe for dinner and everyone seemed to like it...a lot. All in all, a great weekend and I am sad it's over.

Need Motivation and Strength?

There's a song that has been playing on the radio (perhaps you have heard it) that I really like. Not only do I like the music (good beat, guitar, definitely a get-up-and-go song), but the words are very motivating and strengthening. It's "I Will Not Be Moved" by Natalie Grant (I love most all of her songs!). I've put down the lyrics for you:

I have been the wayward child
I have acted out
I have questioned Sovereignty
And had my share of doubt
And though sometimes my prayers feel like
They're bouncing off the sky
The hand I hold won't let me go
And is the reason why...

I will stumble
I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes
I will face heartache
But I will not be moved
On Christ the Solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
I will not be moved

Bitterness has plagued my heart
Many times before
My life has been like broken glass
And I have kept the score
Of all my shattered dreams and though it seemed
That I was far too gone
My brokenness helped me to see
It's grace I'm standing on

I will stumble
I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes
I will face heartache
But I will not be moved
On Christ the Solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
I will not be moved

And the chaos in my life
Has been a badge I've worn
Though I have been torn
I will not be moved

I introduced the song to Arrena and Kimmy this week and they are already asking for me to play it again and again and singing the words throughout the day.

Things That Go Bump in the Night

We live in a pretty safe neighborhood, at the edge of town. According to a Wichita Eagle story published June 1, 2008, last year we had zero murders, rapes, or robberies in this neighborhood. There were 2 cases of aggravated assault, 8 burglaries, 2 cases of auto theft, and 38 cases of other theft. Total crimes in our neighborhood last year was 50, which was down 12 from the year before. May still sound bad to some, but it was MUCH better than other parts of the city. Lately though, I have gotten a little bit nervous at night.

A few weeks ago, my 10-year-old niece stayed the night with us. In the morning, Kimmy came and told me she was scared because the night before, she had seen a man in the house (and proceeded to describe what he was wearing). She said she had seen him outside banging on the door and then later, saw him walking around the house. I asked why she didn't come get me or her dad and she said she was too scared, she didn't want him to see her, so she covered up her sister so she wouldn't be seen and I guess fell asleep. I remember when I was in elementary school, my friend Amy had spent the night and we stayed up half the night, telling ghost stories and giggling. I was half-asleep in my chair and sat bolt upright because I swore I saw a man in the backyard holding, of all things, a fluorescent light bulb. But a second later, he was gone. I knew I was so tired that I was imagining things, though it had me shook up at the time. So, I figured Kimmy, who is imaginative enough in the waking hours, was just dreaming. She insisted she wasn't, but everything was locked up tight and surely she wouldn't have just drifted off to sleep if someone was really stalking through our house. Arrena, who had been asleep when Kimmy had this sighting, was freaked out about this story and consulted her cousin, who told me that they did see someone outside, banging and yanking on the front door. I asked if someone got in the house and she said she never saw anyone in the house, but that she and Kimmy had witnessed the guy at the front door sometime around 2am. I don't know why they didn't think to wake us up, but they have strict instructions that if it ever happens again, they are to wake us up immediately. That was enough to keep me awake at night, listening, and double-checking all locks.

Okay, so then yesterday morning when we left the house, the girls pointed at something yucky sliding down the side of our house, by the front door. Earlier Arrena has looked out the window and exclaimed that someone had TP'd a tree in a yard across the street and to the north. When I saw egg shells littering our porch and the sidewalk, I knew we'd been egg-ed. They were amateurs--they didn't get much TP in the tree and I only see evidence of maybe 3 eggs. It could have been much worse. I am guessing that they are either young kids or that they were interrupted by a car coming down the street. Chris was leaving around 2am and I had been up. I went to QuikTrip at 1am and went to bed a little while after that. Everything was fine then, so it had to be after 2am. It must have been a random hit--we keep to ourselves and don't bother anyone. Maybe neighbors don't like Chris' loud motorcycle (especially when he takes it to work in the middle of the night) and the elderly lady next door doesn't care for us. She's kind of grouchy--doesn't like our dogs barking, but it's okay when hers do; she keeps an immaculate lawn and garden and I think she doesn't like that we don't care too much about ours--it's a rental, I refuse to spend a fortune landscaping it! And then there was that time one of Chris' friends came to pick up a truck at our house and left his car on the street in front of her house--she came knocking at the door, asking for it to be removed, irate, like she owns the street. But, I can't see her egg-ing our house. They got my truck too, so that ticked Chris off and I had to wash it in the rain--it wasn't raining hard enough to get the egg off the paint. They had to be IN our yard to have hit the truck where they did. Makes me want to install one of those invisible fences and leave the dogs in the front yard. We have a black lab/shepherd mix and a Rottweiler mix. They are big babies really, but they'd sure scare some kids.

Okay, I confess that I once participated in TP-ing and egg-ing. Every senior year at my high school was the junior-senior initiation, where the senior girls picked a junior girl to "haze" as an initiation into their upcoming senior-hood. We would get them up early, dress them crazy, slather on bright sloppy makeup, mess their hair all up and take them to the park, breakfast, the school and force them to do humiliating things. The night before this rite of passage, it was tradition for the seniors to run amok. Pranks abounded. I went with friends and we egg-ed a house of one of the senior boys that was out performing other pranks. Then we TP-ed a teacher's house who basically issued a challenge, stating that no one who had ever TP-ed her house before had done it "properly." We TP-ed a house where one of the girls' boyfriends lived. Then we went to a friend's house and stuck cream-filled sandwich cookies to his car windows. After that, we went to my ex-boyfriend's house. I wouldn't let them TP the house because I liked his mom too much to cause her problems. Instead, we blacked out all his truck windows with shoe polish. That was the extent of our mayhem. We went back to one friend's house, but I left shortly thereafter. They started drinking and I wasn't comfortable with it, so I made an excuse to leave (in case any of them ever read this, I'm sorry I lied to you!) and went home. My mom was proud of me for leaving, so she wasn't mad that I woke her up in the middle of the night to let me in. But afterwards, I felt so guilty for what we'd done. I felt like such a ninny for feeling guilty about it--it wasn't THAT bad (some did WAY worse)--but I felt bad all the same. That was my only foray into a life of crime....

Anyways, it really bothered the girls that some kids would egg our house and they puzzled over it all day. Arrena asked Chris, "Why would they do it?" I think she took it personal. Or maybe she just doesn't understand why it would be such a thrill. Anyways, I stayed up a little late last night, checking outside to be sure no little punks were sneaking around after Chris left. Wish I could figure out some booby trap for them--that would be fun and satisfying!

Last year, not long after we moved in, we found dead kittens all over our yard. Two different occurrences within days of each other. It was weird. There were a couple in the front yard, and a few in the back. The next time, we found three more, I think. The lady next door said there had been one in her yard too. We're still not sure what happened. We didn't have our dogs then. But, we had a male cat, so we had wondered if he had done it. But we decided we didn't think so because their throats were ripped open and it seemed a big job for a little cat. Chris thought maybe someone had been using them to train a pit bull to fight and then dumped them in our yard. But why? And why front AND back? There is a pit bull that sometimes gets loose in this neighborhood and we came to the conclusion that maybe he had killed them and drug them into our yard. I bought a lock for our gate and keep the backyard as secure as I can--there are 3 gates--one is chained and padlocked; one had a sliding bolt on the inside that is so tight, it's hard to work and it also has a long log in front of it; and the last one is secured with wood planks and leads into the dogs' pen, which has another gate into the yard with a sliding bolt lock. Haven't had any dead kittens since then, but it was very disturbing.

I have this fear of waking up in the middle of the night with someone in my house. I can't hear anything upstairs in my bedroom with the fan on. You'd think, though, with our weird schedules, no one would dare mess around our house--I come in from work around midnight (or later, depending on if I go to the store or work late), Chris goes to work anywhere from midnight to 2am, and if it's a weekend, one or both of us might be out late. I feel like maybe I should sleep in the living room with a ball bat and my cell phone. Or maybe I am just overreacting.

Our 13th Anniversary & Father's Day

Tomorrow is our 13th anniversary. I cannot believe that we have been married that long. Sometimes it feels LONGER.... Ha, ha. But most times, I feel like time has flown by. I have been feeling sympathy for parents whose children think they are so old and out of touch! I feel like my childhood is not that far back! Where did 13 years go!? YIKES!



Anyways, enough lamenting the passage of time. This weekend was my first weekend on my new schedule, which means I was off work! So, Chris and I, who have gotten used to day dates, went out last night. We acted like kids and rode his motorcycle. I don't care much for bike riding. He loves it, but to be perfectly honest, it kind of scares me. But I do it because he loves it so much. And his bike is so nice. I picked it out for him and it gets a lot of stares and comments--no one believes that a woman picked it out, especially one that isn't really a bike enthusiast. We have plans to improve on it--we want to paint it a deep cobalt blue with silver real flames. Not the cartoonish looking flames--the ones that look real. And we want to chrome the frame. Anyways, I digress....

We went to TGIFridays to eat and then we went and saw the Prince Caspian movie. I love the Narnia books and I loved The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. Prince Caspian was a little different than the book, but it was for dramatics and it was still pretty good. Chris wasn't really gung-ho about seeing it, but he agreed afterwards that it was good. We thought about going somewhere afterwards because it was rare for the kids to be spending the night elsewhere and to not to have to rush home, but we were limited as to what was open at that time of night, so we decided to go ahead and go home. We (well, only me, actually) stayed up to watch a scary video at home.

Today was father's day. Chris didn't give much direction as to what he wanted for gifts, so he was hard to shop for. And everything I wanted to get him, I suddenly couldn't find. I was so frustrated. I ended up getting him a shirt for church and a couple of videos. The biggest hit was an afterthought gift. It was a pen with a laser pointer and flashlight. He and the kids had a blast playing with that, chasing the laserpoint all around the room. Arrena is taking him out to lunch tomorrow for her father's day gift.

It was somewhat of a sad day, really. I was already a little melancholy after the sermon at church (I'm not for sure why, but a few tears were rolling down my cheek by the invitation). Then after church, my mom started crying because she said my grandpa has been sick and weak and she worries about him, which made me well up too. And just the fact that both Chris and I have lost our dads made me sad. Only a few tears, yet it seems any tears lately sends me into a migraine.



We spent some time at my grandparents' along with my aunt, my uncle, and a few cousins. But Billy has been feverish and clingy today, so he may be coming down with something and we went home and put him to bed. After we got home, I reserved a campsite for my family reunion in Oklahoma over labor day weekend. I'm not much of an outdoor person and haven't been camping since I was a toddler, so we'll see how that goes! Daddy's only wish for father's day was some quality time with his motorcycle, so he promptly went on a bike ride...after a few winks. When he came home, he gave each of the kids a ride around the block. They loved it.

Last week was mostly boring. We didn't stick to our schedule at all. Lots of rain and storms kept us inside a lot. We had a tornado touch down about 2 miles due south of us on Wednesday night. The kids were scared to death. Even daddy got in the basement, which is unusual for him. My cell phone started ringing as soon as the tornado sirens went off and I said, "There's my mom, making sure we are in the basement!" I was right. Chris needed my truck to go to work a few times, so that left us stranded a few days. I did some decorating--I hadn't put up many pictures because I hadn't planned to live here long, but I guess we will, so I broke down and put some up.

About the only outing last week was to the library. The kids really love that. They are enrolled in a summer reading program. Billy has already reached his goal and the girls (who had a higher goal) are getting close.




Kimmy planted her garden last Saturday: lots of tomatoes (we are suffering withdrawal because of the FDA ban), some green peppers, jalapenos, onion, and watermelon.

The kids start vacation Bible school tomorrow and are really excited about that.

I bought the kids a small wading pool and they are thrilled with that. Well, the girls love it, Billy's a little scared of the water. They have been playing in it the last two days. Might be the last time for a while--it's supposed to rain and storm all week.

Guess that's all there is to report! TTFN! Ta-ta for now!

Feeling Sorry for Arrena

Arrena blew a gasket yesterday morning. I guess her grandma (Chris' mom) babysat the kids Friday night while I was at work. Arrena woke up getting it all off her chest--she ranted and raved for a LONG time. I guess her grandma was "mean" to her. We have always thought that she was hard on Arrena (yelling at her for twirling her hair around her finger) and it's obvious that her favorite is Kimmy. But, since Arrena favored my mom (who strives to make everything fair between the kids), we didn't worry about it too much. Arrena said that grandma told her she got on her nerves. And I guess she brought over some clothes for the girls and toy trucks for Billy and Arrena said that Kimmy and Billy got more than she did. Which paved the way for her complaint that grandma told them she wouldn't buy them gifts anymore except on their birthdays, but Kimmy gets something nearly every time she goes over there. Arrena went on and on, laying out everything. She even tattled on her grandma by saying that she was eating food out of the fridge (which is typical, but still ticks me off if she eats something that was planned for dinner). She concluded by saying that she never wants to be babysat by her again. Chris agreed that she didn't have to, and plans to take up the issue with his mom.

It all made me mad, of course, but what really got me was when I started to feel guilty. Arrena often gets overlooked, at least by me. She was the first baby and I had tried for a year to get pregnant, so when she was on the way, I was overjoyed. Since she was the first, she was an only child for 21 months and was babied a lot. I loved her so much, but from the beginning, it was obvious that she was daddy's girl and preferred him. Her first word (said three days before she turned three months old, I swear) was "daddy!" So, when Kimmy came along and preferred me above all, it seemed the die was cast. Arrena was daddy's girl and Kimmy was mine. And when Billy entered our family, he preferred me at first; but now, I think he equally loves both Chris and I. He loves his daddy time when I am at work, but when I am home, he's mama's boy. And as he is the last baby, I think I tend to cuddle and coddle him more. If that's not enough, Arrena has such attitude, especially with me. Maybe it's because she feels slighted by me. In any case, it's sometimes hard for me to feel close to her because she is daddy's girl and because she has such an attitude.

But, I started realizing that I think she has been reaching out to me lately. I've seen her trying to sit on laps, snuggle, cling, kiss, hugs, etc. I had thought she was just jealous--Kimmy is a very touchy-feely kid and thrives on hugs, kisses, snuggles. If you've read Gary Chapman's "Five Love Languages", Kimmy's love language is 'physical touch'. I think Arrena's primary love language is 'acts of service'. But, I thought since she was seeing her sister get hugs and kisses, maybe she felt left out, even if it really isn't her thing. I am generally NOT a touchy-feely person. I don't like people in my personal space. I'll hug my close friends, but generally, I feel uncomfortable with too much touching. After 13 years, I am accustomed to Chris being in my personal space and it doesn't bother me. And with the kids, as babies, they are constantly in your personal space--especially if you nurse them. You become accustomed to them being in your space. But, eventually, they get older and crave independence and don't want to be held and cuddled all the time. Billy is still demanding being held and cuddled, so I am used to him. Kimmy had started the independent thing years ago, but occasionally likes cuddles--it's not as familiar as it once was, so occasionally it makes me uncomfortable, especially if she is constantly hanging off me. I get irritable. With Arrena, she's not been a snuggle-bunny since she was about two. So, five years of not being touchy-feely is hard to overcome. Don't get me wrong, I kiss and hug my kids daily. But, suddenly I have this 7-year-old kid crawling into bed with me and instead of staying on her side, like she used to, she's snuggled up tight against me. Every time I turn around, she seems to be laying a sloppy wet kiss on me. She's taken to slapping me on the backside (don't know where that came from, but it ticks me off!). Every time I turn around, I am tripping over her. And she is constantly hanging all over me. My personal space is gone and it is driving me crazy.

But, after her tirade yesterday about her grandma, I started thinking about all this and how it's easier for me to hug and kiss Kimmy and Billy, but so hard to cuddle Arrena. I suddenly feel so sorry for her. I think she gets overlooked a lot. She's the oldest and we expect her to know what to do. I think she gets in trouble a lot because we expect more from her. And her attitude alone gets her in the most trouble. She's generally such a good kid and a great helper that I think we sometimes almost forget her. Granted that since she's older, she gets to do more than her siblings, but I can see where she would feel like the red-headed stepchild. So my goal is to overcome this aversion to the touchy-feely to give her more affection and to show her attention--not as the younger kids get, but as a growing oldest child. I don't want to reward her sometimes baby-like behavior (trying to get our attention), but to treat her more like an adult. Take her shopping with me, talk to her more, have fun together. She's been begging for one-on-one time with both Chris and I. Hopefully she and I can bond.

Today we went to the zoo and the park. My husband said we were dumb because it's been cloudy and REALLY windy all day. But, the forecast said it wouldn't storm until later, so we enjoyed the cooler weather. We decided to pack it in when we were at the park and a tree split in half and half fell over the picnic table we had been eating at and the swing I had been sitting in only moment before! Yikes! Well, it makes for a good blog anyways.



At the zoo, one of the elephants decided the grass was greener on the other side...of the ravine that separates them from the people. So, she was reaching her trunk all the way over, her knees bent to stretch farther, only inches from us. It was so cute.

I meant to write and brag about my kids sooner. Arrena always deserves bragging because she is such a little grown-up and such a good helper. Sunday at church, Kimmy & Billy's Sunday school teachers were just raving about them. She said Kimmy is like their little ambassador, always very friendly to new kids. And she said Billy is always so good, which made me wonder if she had the wrong kid. Billy is never very good at home. But I am glad he is good elsewhere. I always worry.

Billy was so cute yesterday. The girls and I were saying our prayers and he wanted to pray. He folded his hands, bowed his head, and said, "Thanks [for] popcorn."

Scheduling, AKA, What We've Been Up To

I've never been a structured, schedule-oriented person. I don't like being confined. I want to do what I want, when I want. I might have a few things I want to get done in a given day, but I also like to get a wild hair and decide I need to run to the craft store for mirror pieces or to WalMart for material, etc. But, my children seem to fare better with structure. Especially Arrena. She likes life ordered and scheduled. She wants to know what we will do next and next after that and next after that and tomorrow and the next day, etc. I believe she would plan out her entire life, including her demise. And she's seven! I know I should be more scheduled--I'd get more done, instead of saying, "where did the day go?"

So, I worked on a summer schedule for us. That way, I manage to fit in fun, housework, and some schoolwork practice. Otherwise, we'll have fun all the time, the house will go to pot, and before I know it, the summer will be over and they will have forgotten everything they learned last year.

We didn't do the schedule last week, just kind of let them have the first week off of school to relax. Then Monday, all the kids had spent the night at their grandmas' houses, so that sort of ruined that day's schedule. But, yesterday, I got busy. I was pleased that things seemed to get done and wondered why I hadn't done this before. I think my problem is that I get stuck on one thing. For example, I will sit down at this glowing screen and get mesmerized and end up surfing the web for half the day. Or, like yesterday, I had scheduled some time for scrapbooking, but I needed to dig out my scrapbooking desk first. I had been throwing stuff on it for weeks and it was a mound of report card, pictures, school artwork, etc. I had an alloted amount of time and it wasn't enough. I had nearly finished, but it was time to move on to something else. So, with great reluctance, I didn't finish the task, I went on to the next item on the schedule. I had to think on my feet a couple of times and rearrange some things (like can't take a shower BEFORE the gardening), but in the end it all worked out.



We took a walk to the little park down the street. Chris won't take the kids there. It doesn't have any equipment, but it's got a large pond and a walking path and lots of ducks to feed. But, it has a big sign out front that says it's for members of the homeowners association only. Well, I disregard this. The only person who could possibly know that I am NOT a member of the homeowners association would be the president and what are the odds that I will run into said president. We have been there maybe five times and only once have I seen another person in the park. What's the worst that could happen? They could tell me to leave? Oh well. Plus, I perform a community service--the kids and I pick up trash when we walk in the park. If that doesn't earn me the right to walk there.... I got a dirty look from one of the neighbors, but I shrugged it off. Later in the day, Billy (well, more me than Billy) planted a garden. The girls helped, but they will be making their own gardens in the coming weeks. Billy's was flowers, Kimmy's will be fruits and veggies, and Arrena's will be cacti.



Today, our schedule was thwarted by the library not opening as early as I had thought, and the YMCA's pool schedule not meshing with my schedule. So, we ended up throwing out the schedule. I worked out at the YMCA, then we went to the library. We went home then, but later came back to the library (they had a live Radio Disney event going on) and then to the pool at the Y. Billy doesn't like the pool too much and just hung around my neck like an albatross the whole time we were there. Then he wanted to go because he insisted he had to "go" bad. No matter that he had on a swim diaper and never worries about "going" in a diaper any other time. Tonight, we went to get ice cream and I had just changed him out of his big boy underwear into a diaper before we left and he stopped in the middle of the ice cream to look down his shorts. After a brief comment by him, I deduced that he felt the urge to "go" and was making sure that he had a diaper on so he could go ahead and relieve himself without interruption to his ice cream feast. {me rolling my eyes} Anyways, I sat down this afternoon and REWROTE my schedule to accommodate the library and the YMCA's hours of operation. Hopefully this schedule will work! I had such a sense of accomplishment yesterday!

Speaking of schedules, I got a new one at work yesterday! We have been dreading this for a couple of months, with a "redo", etc. But, I was happy to find that I had been awarded my 5th choice schedule (they recommended marking down hundreds of choices!), which is not much different than my hours now, but I now get Saturday and Sunday off! YAY! And my new supervisor, in my experience, is the nicest supervisor in the whole plant. So, I must say that I am satisfied!