On Death and Faith

Yesterday at church, I heard the testimony of a man who had grown up in church, just like me. He spoke about how when his devout father died, it shook his faith and caused him to be angry with God and run away from His calling. I had the opposite happen to me when my father died.

As you know, my father died suddenly about four and a half years ago, at the age of 61. To say that his death was unexpected is both true and untrue. He had been not well for a long time, though you never really expect for that to happen. I had tried to prepare myself, somewhat, for his death, but when it happened, it was quite shocking. I won't go into the details because I did that in an earlier post, but I will say that the circumstances of his death were very devastating to me.

My dad was not "devout". He was a Christian and loved the Lord, but he didn't attend church very often. Later in life, this was due to difficulty in getting around, his feet hurt and swelled because of the diabetes. He still sent in his tithe to the church, though, and he read his Bible daily, prayed often, and listened to gospel music frequently. My dad was not a perfect man. When I lived at home, I absolutely hated him. He suffered from depression and was often not a very nice man. We got along much better when we were both older.

The night I found dad dead, I remember lifting my face to the sky and whispering, "I'm sorry, daddy." I knew then that he was in heaven. But, as time went on, I had to really examine this belief. Did I really believe that my dad still existed in some form, somewhere? My brother believed that what was left of him was lowered in the ground at his funeral and that's all there was. My heart broke that my brother had no hope. But, did I? I really searched my heart and soul to determine what I believed. It's easy to say that you believe in God, heaven, Jesus, but do you really when it's put to the test? When someone dies, can you trust them to God until you see them again? I finally decided that I could. I remember standing in church and longing for heaven and home because it now felt like home to me, with someone I loved there.

I still had struggles, of course. I had a sick feeling, thinking of my dad dying alone, choking for breath, struggling. But, my then-husband's foster dad, a missionary who happened to be in town at the time and performed the funeral for me, gave me a wonderful gift. He talked to me about other deaths he had been witnessed. He assured me that in cases of believers, they had all died peacefully and some had even spoke about seeing someone there in the room. He said he believed that either an angel had been in the room or Jesus himself. He told me that he believed that my dad had not been alone. That gave me peace.

I also had struggled with the question of why did my dad die at that particular time? I was doped on medication and forgot to call him. Why did God choose to take him at THAT time? That is a question that I still have and will not have answered until I am in heaven myself. But, that's okay. I have been able to let that question lie dormant. I trust that God had a reason and it does not affect my faith. I am not angry, I trust Him.

The guilt I struggled with for a long time. Sometimes I still feel it, but it's something that I can deal with. The sermon at church yesterday was about guilt. Guilt is something that the devil causes. When we have done wrong, God brings conviction so that we may confess and turn from our wrongdoing. But when guilt comes over something that has been forgiven already or was not our wrongdoing in the first place, it is Satan, trying to bring us down.

None of my struggles over my dad's death ever caused me to doubt my faith. I learned recently that one of my spiritual gifts is faith. I have seen God do too much in my life NOT to believe Him and trust Him. My faith is very strong. And I think it was only strengthened through the fiery furnace I went through when my dad died.

Christmas, Xmas, or Happy Holidays

About a month ago, on Facebook, I saw evidence of the predictable annual debate: Christmas or Xmas, Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays. None of these expressions have ever bothered me. I believe that Christmas is the celebration of Jesus being born as a man, in order to die on the cross for our sins. That said, I will explain why I don't insist on the term "Christmas" or become highly incensed if anyone dares to call it anything different.

According to Wikipedia, "The term 'Xmas', a popular shortened form of the word Christmas... originates from the use of the Greek letter chi to represent 'Christ' (Χριστός)." This abbreviation for Christ has been documented since 1021 AD, in chronicles, dictionaries, new testament manuscripts, ancient art, and churches. If you know about the "Ichthus" symbol, you know that symbols are common and the "X" standing for "Christ" was a part of that symbol as well. Ichthus (or Ichthys), written ΙΧΘΥΣ in Greek, is the word for fish. It was an acrostic for "Jesus Christ God's son Savior" as shown in the following:

• Iota (i) is the first letter of Iēsous (Ἰησοῦς), Greek for "Jesus".
• Chi (ch) is the first letter of Christos (Χριστός), Greek for "anointed".
• Theta (th) is the first letter of Theou (Θεοῦ), Greek for "God's", the genitive case of Θεóς, Theos, Greek for "God".
• Upsilon (u) is the first letter of huios (Υἱός), Greek for "Son".
• Sigma (s) is the first letter of sōtēr (Σωτήρ), Greek for "Savior".

Aside from the Xmas debate, many people become offended by hearing the phrase "Happy Holidays." They contend that the only holiday worth mentioning is Christmas. First off, this is insensitive to people who celebrate other holidays. Granted that Kwanzaa's creator initially intended the celebration to be an alternative to Christmas and spoke derogatorily about Jesus and the Christian faith. However, many who celebrate Kwanzaa today also celebrate Christmas. Kwanzaa celebrates heritage and history and its principles are not contrary to Christian faith, such as unity, community, family, helping one another, etc. In addition, Jewish people celebrate Hannukah. While most Jews do not believe that Jesus is the promised Messiah, Messianic Jews do. Some celebrate Christmas, but from what I have read, many do not. It's not because they do not wish to honor Christ, but because they believe that many of the practices of Christmas stem from pagan rituals, such as decorating a Christmas tree (Jeremiah 10). I also read that the eating of a Christmas ham on December 25th commemorates the Abomination of Desolation that was committed by Antiochus when he burned a pig on the temple altar. Add those things to the knowledge that many pagan religions already celebrated the births of their deities at that time of the year and you understand why many Jewish believers would want little to do with the Christmas holiday. They believe that all the feasts that God ordained for his people present a picture of Christ and that there are parallels between Hannukah and Jesus and that they can best honor Christ by observing the feasts which God set forth, as opposed to one that is man-made and contains echos of pagan tradition (for that matter, I am nearly convinced to give up Christmas!). Thanksgiving was generally celebrated the last Thursday of November, until 1941 when Roosevelt signed a bill which changed it to the fourth Thursday. When scores of people are celebrating Thanksgiving, Hannukah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and New Year's in a short span of time, is it any wonder that stores wish their customers a "Happy Holidays" instead of trying to wish them a happy Thanksgiving/Hannukah/Christmas/Kwanzaa/NewYear's? Or trying to determine which holiday a particular person celebrates? Or risk offending someone? Yes, "Happy Holidays" may be a generic greeting, but how else is the average person to navigate the waters of the ethnic melting pot of the U.S.?

As for an etymology lesson, Wikipedia states that "the word 'holiday' originally referred only to special religious days. The word derived from the notion of 'Holy Day'." Webster's Dictionary's first definition listed under "holiday" is "holy day." Is it that offensive to wish someone a "Happy Holy Day?"

I've heard people stirring up the masses about "taking Christ out of Christmas" and declaring "war" against Christian holidays. I read that Franklin Graham, Billy Graham's son is such a one and he should know better. It saddens me that a lot of Christians are willing to get sucked into a silly argument. They are just words. I think some people are so divisive, that they just go around looking for something to be upset about and cause strife. There are plenty of REAL problems in the world, we shouldn't be arguing semantics. Christmas is about Christ coming to earth to give himself for us. And we should, in turn, show his love to those around us, instead of getting worked up about silly abbreviations. I don't think that Jesus would care which way it's expressed if we are not doing what we should or our hearts are not right. Whatever words we choose to use, God knows our heart. You can say Christmas all you want and still not be righteous in God's eyes. And vice versa, you can say Xmas or Happy Holidays and be godly and giving, in love with Jesus. They are just words.

I read a post by a Christian band on Facebook, discussing this debate. Many people understood the truth and tried to enlighten others about where the term Xmas came from. However, there were many posts afterward that showed that many people did not care about the truth. It was as if they stopped up their ears and said, "La la la la la! I can't hear you!" They didn't want to be set straight. Maybe they heard someone who they believed they should be able to trust--someone of prominence, a public figure or a pastor, that spoke out against these issues and they trust that they must know what they are talking about. So they get incensed, by proxy. Long entrenched beliefs are hard to shake.

It bothers me that this issue is so hotly debated and that non-Christians are exposed to the squabbling within the family of God. I saw a poll online about whether Christians thought that the debate would turn people off to Christianity. The majority didn't care, they were stuck on the word "Christmas." I was appalled that so many would choose a mere word over the possibility of souls coming to Christ.

I was upset that so many people seem so averse to learning the truth. However, a still small voice reminded me of Paul's teaching in Romans 14. That passage even talks about special days. The gist of the passage is that if something offends your brother or sister, you should refrain from it. What you think is right to eat or celebrate, etc., is second to the importance of not causing your brother to stumble. Esteem your brother higher than that of your own liberty. Therefore, knowing the truth, we should still be sensitive to others and I myself vow to use the phrase "Merry Christmas" so as not to offend others.

Am I the Only Person Who Dislikes Skulls?

One of the great joys of sharing children with an ex is the Christmas and birthday gift conundrum. For one, if they don't consult you, then you sometimes end up getting the same thing. For example, for my son's 5th birthday, my ex-husband called to criticize me for not consulting him and buying the same cake, decorations, piñata that they had planned on having. It apparently didn't occur to him to check to see what we were doing or that our son picked it out himself, that we were trying to give him a theme birthday, according to his interests, or that we had gotten ours first. Or, how about that it doesn't even matter that Billy had the same cake, piñata, and decor for two parties? Did Billy mind? No!

Second, there's the argument of where these gifts should stay. Should they remain at dad's house, or do they go home to mom's with the kids? Thirdly, which ties in to the second problem, he and his girlfriend or wife sometimes buy gifts that we don't like or approve of, such as loud, noisy gifts (a guitar, kazoos, etc.), a remote controlled snake (Scott doesn't like snakes of any sort in this house), or clothing that you would never allow your 8 and 10-year-old daughters to wear (padded bras, shorty shorts, pants with words across the rear, drawing attention to your little girl's butt, or used underwear--yes...i said used).

Yes, all these things I have mentioned have happened in our situation. I am sure there are worse things that they could receive and maybe will in the future. My solution to the problem: donate any clothes that are inappropriate and ask him to keep all gifts that he buys at his house. However, though I have discussed this with him a couple of times, this past Christmas, the kids were preparing to bring home their gifts, saying dad told them they could. I said absolutely not, becoming the bad guy and it was obvious that he was very unhappy with my refusal. While I choose my battles, this time I stood my ground, not willing to allow the walking over me to turn into an Olympic decathlon. He sent them with just a few items that were non-toy. Even that was an issue because Kimberly got two calendars from his mom and another calendar from my husband's mother. Now, where is she going to put three calendars? What does an 8-year-old need with three calendars? Or a 5-year-old, because Billy got three, as well.

The other item that I didn't like was a purse that they got for Arrena, my 10-year-old. It's a Monster High brand and features a skull on the side of it, with a bow on its "head." Even though I don't like it, I can't take it away from her without being the bad guy again. She adores this purse and takes it everywhere and shows it to everyone.

There are worse things that she could have and this is really just my own personal issue with it. Likely few will understand my aversion. I see skulls everywhere. And not just as a tattoo on a big hairy scary-looking man's bicep. I see women wearing skull shirts, earrings, etc. as well. Just the other day, I heard about someone that wanted skulls decorating their baby's blanket. My problem is that it is a symbol of death. Most would be appalled if someone were to walk around with a severed head as a decoration. However, this is the same thing, only more decayed--minus the skin, blood, and tissue. That is disturbing to me. I see a skull and a severed head as the same thing. It is disgusting to me to decorate with a human body part. I also wonder if it desensitizes people to death and gore. And the cute little bow on top of the skull on my daughter's purse makes me shake my head. Yeah, let's make it better by decorating the severed head with a pink bow. O...kay. Totally my opinion and others obviously do not share it. So, I am currently stuck with a skull purse in my house. Guess it's slightly better than the other purse she likes to carry around--a photo tote, which she decided to fill with an old family picture from when my ex and I were still married as well as a family picture taken at my wedding to my new husband. (It's a little weird...)

Westboro "Baptist Church"

The Westboro "Baptist Church" has long infuriated and sickened me. Today I was even more disgusted as I heard that they are planning to protest the funeral of the nine-year-old girl that died in the Tucson, Arizona shooting. It's bad enough when they protest at soldiers' funerals, but when they protest at a little girl's funeral, it shows how truly sick and hateful they really are.

These people once picketed a church I was attending. This puzzled me, at first. Our pastor was very well-known for being outspoken about homosexual marriages and abortion. What could they possibly have against our church? They held signs that said, "Your pastor is lying to you," and "This way to hell," and "Fag lovers." Their problem with us was that our pastor taught that we should hate the sin, yet love the sinner, as Christ teaches in the Scriptures. Our pastor spoke about people he called friends that were gay. He did not agree with their choices, but cared about them, in spite of their lifestyle. The Westboro people did not agree with that. One of the women that I knew from choir went outside to speak with them. She was upset that they were dragging an American flag around on the ground, disrespecting our country's flag. When she confronted them, they cussed at her. Very Christ-like behavior, I must say.

What angers me the most about the Westboro bunch is that they reflect badly on Christ and on other Christians. We all get lumped into the same category. However, they are nothing like those of us who are TRUE followers of Jesus Christ. It's not mine to judge, but I don't believe that they are Christians at all. I don't know where they get their agenda of hate--they didn't get it from God's Word. I attend a Baptist church and have for most of my life and the things that they believe and practice have nothing to do with the Baptist denomination.

Some of their protest signs state that "God hates America." John 3:16 says that "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." I John 4:7-16 explains that God IS love: "Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them." If you want to know what God does hate, it's written in Proverbs 6: "There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community." Wow. Does any of that list strike you as applicable to the Westboro people? Maybe God hates what THEY do. Hmmm....

They are outspoken about homosexuality, claiming that God hates gays. However, the Bible is full of God's love for sinners. The story of the woman at the well in John, chapter four, tells of Jesus' encounter with a woman who was living a sinful lifestyle, yet he did not speak words of hate to her. In John 8, a woman was brought to Jesus who had been caught in the very act of adultery. Jesus said, "let him who is without sin cast the first stone." When they all left, he told the woman that he didn't condemn her either. Are any of these Westboro people without sin themselves? Do they believe that any sin is worse than another? James 2:10 says whoever keeps the whole law, but stumbles at one point is guilty of breaking all of it. There is a message to them in Matthew 7: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."

As for their obvious hatred of anyone and everyone, that is absolutely not found in Scripture. I John 3:15 says, "Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him." I John 4:20 tells us that, "Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen." Matthew 5 says we are to love our enemies as well as our brothers. In Luke 10, Jesus explains to a lawyer that we are to love our neighbor as ourself and that EVERYONE is our neighbor.

While I believe that Jesus shed his blood for anyone who wishes to receive, even people from the Westboro cult, I don't believe that they are Christians. The Bible tells how to know if someone is truly of God. John 13 says that everyone will know that we are Christ's disciples, if we have love for one another. Again, I look to Matthew 7: “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them." James 3:9-12 says "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water." I John 4 says to test spirits to see if they are of God. If what someone says does not measure up with what the Scripture says, they cannot speak for God. Matthew 7:21-23 says, " “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’"

I have read comments by others online who have vowed to picket Fred Phelps' (the leader of the Westboro group) funeral when he dies. I cannot say that is something I would desire to do. For one, the man does not deserve that much attention. He should be ignored. For two, I believe that while others are gathered around his grave, Jesus will be setting him straight in a way that no one on earth ever could. And third, I believe that we should do what he and his people refuse to do: love. When the Bible says to love our enemies, it isn't written only to them. It's for us as well. As much as we hate all that they stand for, we must love them as well. And so, as I close this blog out, I pray, not only for the victims of the Arizona shooting, but also for the Westboro people, that their eyes may be opened to the truth of God's Word and they will repent of their wicked ways.