We had a celebrity sighting today!

Okay, so it was a local celebrity, but it was funny nonetheless. Notorious, more than famous. If you have ever watched the TV show Cops, you know how dumb the people on that show can be. I always cringe when they do an episode in our city (Wichita, KS) because you don't want people to think that every person here is an inbred, ignorant hick criminal. There was an episode we had seen a few years ago that took place here and involved a woman. I can't remember what she had gotten pulled over for (erratic driving, speeding, illegal turn, something like that) and when she stopped, instead of pulling over to the side of the road, she turned into a driveway at Linwood Park. But, it's one of those driveways that is blocked by a chain, so she was half out in the road. I think the police thought she was going to turn around and run, so they pulled behind her to block her in, so they were both blocking the oncoming lane of traffic. And it had been raining, obviously, so that area was flooded. She was mad. I think something had happened before all of this (there was some allusion to her ex-husband or something like that), so she was already ticked off and that's likely why she was driving the way she was. The officers kept asking her what was wrong and if they could help her, but she refused and just kept saying, "you can give me the ticket so I can go." She was so belligerent that I think they ended up searching her. She was hot (very mad). It really wasn't the officers fault, she was just already mad about something, let it affect her driving, and got caught, so she took it out on the wrong people. And when they finally let her go, she spun tires and acted like an idiot. They probably had grounds to arrest her. Chris always said that he thought she looked familiar.

Well, today we were at the flea market, and as we were leaving, a couple of women walked in. I thought one looked familiar and I was trying to figure out where I knew her from. Then it dawned on me that it was that woman! I burst out laughing. I nudged Chris and said, "did you see that woman?" He smiled and answered, "it's the one from Cops." Made me want to ask for her autograph, but if her Cops appearance was any indication of her disposition, I figured I better leave that one alone.

Memorial Day

Just thinking of you today, dad, and missing you. It's been one year, seven months, and twenty-one days since you left us and we miss you. I don't go to the cemetery as much as I should, just as I didn't visit you as much when you were alive as I probably should have. But, just as when you were alive, I still think about you often and love you. Sometimes I still find myself about to call you and tell you something. Usually something unimportant. A funny thing I heard on the radio that I thought you would appreciate or something the kids did that would tickle you. We look forward to seeing you again and know that you are in good hands! A song that you used to like just popped into my head: "I'm gonna let glory roll when the roll is called in glory. I'm gonna get beside myself when I get beside the King that day. I'm gonna have the time of my life when the time of my life is over. I'm gonna get carried away when I get carried away." I imagine you sitting in the best gospel concerts you've ever heard--nothing like what's heard on earth--and getting so tickled, you're laughing and wiping tears away, clapping your hands, and tapping your foot. Sometimes I see you surrounded by your mom, dad, and Donna. Sometimes I envy you. Have a blast, dad! I'll see you when I get home.

Prayers for the Chapman Family

Others' reality is my greatest fear. I am saddened by the news that my favorite Christian singer, Steven Curtis Chapman, has lost his youngest daughter. They had 3 biological children and 3 adopted from China. Maria was only 5 years old. Such a tragedy. Their teenage son accidentally ran her over in their driveway. There have been a lot of accidents like this in recent years. A child was killed here in our city just a couple of weeks ago in the same manner. I urge everyone to do two things: stress to your children the importance of not playing near vehicles, even if the vehicle isn't running (and keep little ones that can't understand this in your sight, in your arms); and always check behind your vehicle before you back out (I'm bad about remembering this too).

I know that the Chapmans have a real faith. I know that they know that she is held in the arms of God now, that He can protect her and love her even more than her very close-knit and loving family can even do. But, my heart breaks for her brother. Even though I'm sure he knows that he will see his sister again and that it wasn't his fault, it can't be easy to live with the knowledge that you accidentally killed your sister. I pray that he will not be haunted by guilt and blame. I pray that God will wrap him in peace and mercy. I pray for healing for the whole family as they grieve their loss, but look forward to a reunion in heaven.

If you click the title of this blog, it will link you to a website that tells of the news, shows a cute and goofy video of Steven with Maria (you will laugh, you will cry--it will be worth it), and allows you to leave your condolences.

I Thessalonians 4:13-18 "But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another with these words."

Summer's Here

I can't believe that today is the last day of school! Where did the year go? It seems like it was just last week that I was dropping the girls off for their first days of kindergarten and first grade and now the year is over. For some reason, it is easier for me to accept Arrena getting older than for Kimmy. Maybe because Arrena always acts so grown up anyways and Kimmy has always been my baby girl. It seems the older I get, the faster time flies. It makes me really sad sometimes when it seems like a year is gone in just a blink of an eye. The things I mean to do and the things I want to get done--and then the moment is gone. You turn around and your children are growing up on you. It makes me sad because I realize that 15 years will fly by before I know it (15 blinks) and Billy will be 18 and my last child will be gone from the nest. 15 years seems so long, in theory, but it seems it goes faster and faster. I was groaning about having all the children around, driving me crazy all summer, but with the knowledge that our time together is quickly passing, I find myself wanting to make it memorable and enjoy them instead of dreading the sibling rivalry and fights.

Gas Prices & Healthcare

I know everyone is sick and tired of the gas prices and probably even more sick of hearing about it. But, since this is my blog and I can talk about whatever I want, that's what I am going to talk about. If you don't like it, don't read it! ;P

I have been so frustrated lately about finances. The thing is, we make a good amount of money. And we still struggle. I don't understand how people who make less than us or even as far as minimum wage make it! I have a gas-guzzling Ford Expedition, so I fill it every week at $90 lately. And I don't go anywhere! I drive the kids to school, I go to work, we go to church once a week. Occasionally I run an errand, but I try to limit that--go to the grocery store on my way home from work, pay bills over the phone or online, save up errands and do them all at once, etc. Add Chris' gas usage and we are over $150 a week. It's ridiculous. I've already told the kids that we are doing nothing this summer. We can't afford the gas! Last summer, even though it was high (though about $1 a gallon lower than it is now), we still went lots of places. This summer, if we are lucky, we will see the zoo and the YMCA occasionally. Any fun to be had, will be had in the backyard! I'd sell the Expedition, but we still have 2 years left until it's paid for!

Last year, I quit my job delivering newspapers because the gas was too high. I wasn't profiting enough to make it worth it anymore. And it has gone up since then! I don't know how the rest of them are still doing it!

And it's not just the gas prices--it trickles down to all the businesses and the price of everything else goes up! My grocery budget used to be $100 a week (not that long ago). I had to bump it up to $150 a week and now I can't even keep it in that range. I am closing in on $200 a week and I am skimping! Chris is always complaining that there isn't enough food in the house. We definitely aren't starving, but we could definitely do better, especially when it comes to fresh produce. I try to make the simplest meals so that the grocery bill won't be so high. A WalMart brand bottle of canola oil is up to almost $4! Milk is over $4 a gallon! Eggs are almost $2 a dozen!

My question is where is it going to stop? Will it ever stop? I have heard people predicting that it will keep going up, up to $7-8 a gallon! How can we afford that? When will it cost us more to go to work than what we make going there?

I was listening to an interview with a truck driver when they had their march on Washington and I was nearly in tears out of frustration and empathy. This guy and his wife live in their truck--they have no other home. They are putting all their money into the gas tank and barely have enough money to eat on.

What I wonder is what would happen if everyone in the country went on strike for just one day! Think about it. What would happen if no one could afford to go to work. Or even just one industry. What if all the truck drivers went on strike? How would anything be shipped? Mail, food, supplies, etc. Think of the perishable items that would be lost. What if the emergency vehicles couldn't roll out? Or my job--what if all of the postal workers went on strike? Or my husband's job--he works for a trash company (he does the commercial cardboard recyclables). I know the price of diesel has been through the roof and it has to be passed down to consumers. I heard the trash service cost has been steadily going up. What would the country do if all the residential trashmen went on strike? Think of all the trash piling up. And here in our area, we are under burn bans a lot because of dry, windy conditions that can spark wildfires. So we couldn't even burn our trash.

I was talking about the costs with the girl at the checkout counter at WalMart. We were wondering if we were going to have to go back to growing our own food, raising our own livestock. What about a step further--what if we start seeing horses and buggies on the streets because no one can afford to operate their motor vehicles any more? I'm beginning to think growing a garden isn't such a bad idea. And Chris has been talking more and more about buying livestock to put out at his friend's property. Or buying property of our own with room for livestock.

I've been reading a lot of books that take place in the early prairie days and the thing that struck me was that they didn't have to go far to get the things they needed. Yeah, it may have taken longer for them to get there since they used foot power or horsepower, but in our day and age, everything is spread too far out. If we went back to walking, biking, horse and buggy, it would take us forever to get where we are going. Chris' work is 13 miles away from our house. Even my work is 7 1/2 miles away. The kids school is 5 1/2 miles away. The closest store is a mile and a half away. My mom's house is over 8 miles away. My grandparents live 11 1/2 miles away. Our church is 13 miles away. Have you ever wondered how long that would take to travel? I did, so I figured it out. These figures don't take into account traffic or red lights, just a straight constant gait. If we were riding or driving a horse at a trot (average 8mph), it would take us 11 minutes to get to the store, 41 minutes to get to the kids' school, 56 minutes to get to my work, one hour to get to my mom's house, one hour and 26 minutes to my grandparents', and 1 hour and 37 minutes to get to Chris' work or our church. It gets way worse if you were walking. If we walked at an average walking speed of 2.5mph, it would take us 36 minutes to get to the store, 2 hours and 12 minutes to get to the kids' school, 3 hours to get to my work, 3 hours and 12 minutes to get to my mom's house, 4 hours and 36 hours to my grandparents' house, and 5 hours and 12 minutes to get to Chris' work or our church. Yeah, I can see Chris walking for 10 1/2 hours a day, plus working a 12 hour day!

What I want to know is when is the government going to do something about it? Do they all have expense accounts or are driven around by chauffeurs and haven't pumped their own gas in so long that they don't feel the pinch that we do? Why can't they pass some legislation to help us? That few thousand barrels they saved us from losing to the reserve--what does that help? Pass some legislation with incentives for auto makers to create vehicles that run on pure ethanol or other alternative fuels or electricity. My husband knows someone that drives a racecar fueled by ethanol, so why can't they make regular cars to run on ethanol? I know they are making flexfuel cars now that can run on both, but why not make it a standard, instead of the exception? And where are the ethanol fueling stations? You can find some that have a blend, but have you ever seen one dispensing pure ethanol? Or let's find a way to make the Delorean from Back to the Future a reality--run off trash! That would be a great recycling method...kill two birds with one stone! There's got to be SOME alternative, some legislation! There's some legislation now that requires auto makers to bring their auto production up to a standard miles per gallon by a certain time, but I think we need something more! Is it all about the oil money?! No one wants to help the average man, they want to help the rich get richer? If we had no need for oil and gasoline, then the oil guys would suffer. Something is backwards in this country if we are more worried about the poor little rich guy than the average American workers who shoulder all the work and responsibilities, whose backs this country was built on. Sorry, soapbox...

I feel guilty at the same time that I feel this anger because I know that we are still the richest people on the planet. Other countries probably wish they had this problem. They don't have enough food or shelter, education, or clean drinking water. It seems silly to gripe about gas prices when others are dying of starvation or other things that we know nothing about. But the thing too is that how can we help these other nations if our hands are tied because we can't make our own ends meet.

If all that wasn't bad enough, I am also frustrated with the cost of healthcare. I think the picture above could be hung on nearly every doctor's office, clinic, and hospital in America, as well as applying to gas prices. And it is getting worse and worse every year. Like I said before, we make a decent amount of money, but we can't afford to go to the doctor. I remember when my dad worked at Boeing and we had good healthcare. We didn't pay much out of pocket. When Chris and I first came back to Kansas and I was pregnant with Arrena, his work's insurance was great. I had a c-section and they paid it all. Now we have some ridiculous deductible and on top of that, we have to pay 20% of all services. One of my prescriptions was over $70 a month after the insurance reduced it! I don't take it--I can't afford that. And you can't just have one bill for one visit. You are billed for the hospital, the doctor that treated you, the lab, radiology, etc. We rarely go to the doctor--we have to be VERY sick before we go and we still constantly owe doctor bills. One visit I made, for an annual exam cost me over $700. So, now I skip the exam which is not the smartest thing for me to do because I had a LEEP three years ago when I had cervical pre-cancer. I am fine now, but it is possible for it to come back. I'm supposed to be checked once a year (for the first year following the surgery, it was supposed to be every three months). But, I can't afford $700 a year (let alone every three months), in addition to bills for the rest of the family. What if one of us got really sick or hurt? How could we afford that? Because of this, I have started looking into supplemental health insurance to cover what Chris' insurance does not.

I just think it's ridiculous. We make too much money to receive assistance with healthcare from the government, but don't make enough to be able to afford our doctors' bills! Our credit stinks, not because of credit card debt, but because of medical bill debt. And like I said, it's not like we go to the doctor much at all. I remember when Chris used to say, "we have insurance, take them to the doctor." But, now I protest. Just because we have insurance does not mean we can afford to go to the doctor. If it's a virus, all the doctor will say is "nothing we can do, it has to run its course, rest and fluids, blah, blah, blah." I can't afford to take three children to the doctor at nearly $100 each visit to hear that it has to run its course. So we don't go unless it is a dire emergency. And how do you sit there, looking into your sick child's face, trying to determine if a trip to the doctor is worth it? With three children (& even with us occasionally), you sometimes NEED a doctor or a trip to the ER. We just get medical bills paid off or at least DOWN and someone else gets sick and there's more medical bills. And if it was one bill, you could pay on that a little at a time, but when they send you several bills, for doctors, labs, etc., they all want their money and they all want it right now!

My grandma pointed out that Chris could receive healthcare at the VA. NO WAY! After what I saw of how they cared for my dad, I wouldn't send anyone I cared about to the VA for treatment!

It would be so nice if we had a doctor or a nurse in the family. At least someone to look at the children and tell me if it warrants a trip to the doctor or if it's nothing to worry about or can be treated at home. I wish I had the stomach--I would love to be a nurse. I would love to work with babies, especially, but I can't handle shots, blood, other bodily fluids, etc. I'd not make it a week, though I desperately wish I could. If I didn't pass out cold, I'd definitely lose my lunch. I don't like to push my kids to be or do anything when they grow up. I want them to follow Jesus, I want them to be good people, and I want them to be happy. Other than that, they can be anything they want to be--if digging ditches makes them happy, I'm fine with that. But, I'd sure love it if one became a doctor! If I had my choice, I think I'd have a doctor, a lawyer, and a mechanic, so we have all our bases covered! Ha, ha. We can count Arrena out for the doctoring--she's even more squeamish than I am! If we could pry Kimmy away from her love of animals, she's got the stomach for it! Ha, ha.

I know, I've been ranting, but it all irks me SOOOOO much! It literally brings me to tears of frustration and anger. Is there any light at the end of the tunnel?

Lessons a 3-year-old teaches you, part 2

Our SUV has child safety locks that have malfunctioned--we can't turn them off. So, if you are in the back seat, someone has to let you out. The girls figured out that they can roll down the window and unlock the door, then let themselves out by lifting the outside handle. I wondered how long it would take for Billy to catch on to this. Yesterday was that day. We had gone to pick up the girls from school and were sitting in the car waiting for the bell to ring. We always turn the car off and roll down the windows. The next thing I knew, I heard a click, Billy yelling, and looked to see the door swinging open and Billy going with it. My first fear was that he would fall face first onto the sidewalk, but he was smart and held on. He started whimpering, "Help me, mama." I fought the urge to laugh and ran around to rescue him. He was hanging from the door, about 6 inches from the ground. I just knew all the other parents were sitting in their cars, nearly wetting themselves over this unexpected entertainment. I scooped him up in my arms and hugged him (he was so scared). He gets angry if you laugh at him, so I tried so hard to be the kind, compassionate mother ("Are you okay? It's okay, baby."), but I will admit that a few giggles did burst unbidden from my lips. I couldn't help it.

A similar incident happened just a couple of weeks ago. He had been leaning out of the car window when his sister Kimmy opened the door, knocking him off balance. He clung to the door and swung there for a brief second before I was able to grab him. Both of these incidents reminded me of my brother when he was little. I was about 7 and my brother would have been about 2. We were moving and mom and dad had rented a U-Haul or some such moving truck. It was huge to us kids. Anyways, being a boy, my brother wanted to ride in the cab of the moving truck. I don't remember who opened the door when we got there, maybe dad, but my brother had just then grabbed the handle and was swung out with the opening door. He said the only thing going through his mind was the words of a John Anderson song, "Just A-Swingin'."

The moral of this story? There are several. If you have a toddler, watch out before you open a car door. If you have a toddler, watch him at all times! You never know what that crazy kid will do! If you can, grow eyes in the back of your head. And if what you are leaning on, suddenly pulls out from under you, hang on tight so you don't fall down.

International Harvester by Craig Morgan

This is the kids' current favorite song. We especially like it because the video was filmed on our city's streets! I am a little disappointed because I tried to upload the video in the post, but it would never load, even though it was the correct format and under the size limit. So I had to use YouTube and the quality of the video is nowhere near what my actual video looks like. Maybe I can figure it out later on. But, at least you get the idea! Kimmy is such a ham! Enjoy! (In case you don't catch it, instead of saying "p-p-p-p-plower", they say, "f-f-f-f-flower" and instead of "bumper crop," they are convinced the words are "bumper car"!)

Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day. Last week my husband asked me what I wanted for Mother's Day. I had forgotten that the day was even coming up! I said, "I'd like to sleep late on Saturday morning!" Saturday is the only day I have to sleep late since I have to get my kids up for school Monday through Friday at 6:30am (though mom sometimes stays in bed a little longer) and we get up for church on Sundays. For six years, I delivered newspapers for a living, going to bed, getting up at 2am or earlier, throwing my route, then coming home to grab a nap before getting up to take my daughter to school. Last year, I quit and got a job doing data entry from the USPS. I work 7pm-11pm. Sometimes I have to work later or I go to the grocery store on Fridays and don't go to bed until around 2am. You can imagine my disappointment when Saturday morning around 6 or 7am, my kids start crawling into bed with me or my husband decides to chat with me. He usually goes to work around 1am, so 6am is sleeping in for him! And we get so little time together these days that he takes what he can get for chats. But four hours of sleep is too little for me, so this was my wish!




Yesterday morning, I woke up when my husband crawled into bed. He and my son had fallen asleep on the couch. I put Billy to bed and tried to wake Chris up, but he was dead to the world. So I went to bed alone. When I woke up, I realized that Billy was on one side of me and Arrena was on the other side. Chris tried to talk to me, but he must have remembered my wish because he said we would talk later and to go to sleep. Then I remembered him sending Arrena out of the room and trying to dislodge Billy from his usual spot right next to his mama. Billy refused. Chris whispered something in his ear, but Billy still refused. Chris said, "you always ruin my plans." I don't remember how it happened, but Billy eventually left. I remember waking up again with Chris getting dressed. I thought it odd because he was wearing his hat and getting socks, so I knew he must be going somewhere, but I didn't know where.



The next time I woke up, Chris was there and saying, "I've held the kids off, but they want you downstairs." I thought it must be really late since I had woken up a few times, then gone back to sleep and they had left and returned. The clock said it was a little after 9am. Chris said the kids had gotten him up at 5am. When I came downstairs, arranged on the table were notes, a card made by Kimmy at school, Arrena's silhouette made at school, a bouquet of multi-colored roses, and a box containing a heart shaped necklace with a large pink stone that said "love". I tried to get a picture of the necklace, but it wouldn't come out right. Anyways, this is a big deal because sometimes my husband forgets and that's a big deal to me because after reading Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages, I know that my love language is gifts. It was all really sweet. Billy had gotten his Gaga Pat to get me a pot of miniature roses yesterday. Chris said he picked out the flowers, sniffing them until he found just the right bouquet. This is only the second time my husband has ever bought me roses! Arrena said that I must really like the necklace because I keep wearing it (2 days in a row!).



My mother gave me the picture in the shadow box frame that you see here. She made it with material from both of our wedding dresses and cross-stitched the words and added the corsage she wore to my wedding and pictures of she and I at my wedding and of her and her mom at her wedding. It is really special. She made my wedding dress out of four different patterns that I picked out. She also made hers too. The blue hearts are from the material that she made her bridesmaid dressed out of.

The pastor's sermon today was really convicting for me and I have begun to really think hard about my temper with my children. Well, maybe it was less what the pastor said and more God speaking to my heart. I am praying for God's help with this. I was never a short-fused person before, I don't think. I think a lot of times my anger towards the children is misplaced--I'm angry at my husband and I take it out on them. Anyways, I have been trying to deal with this, but I just feel worse and worse about it. I want them to have a happy childhood, not grow up saying that their mother was angry all the time. I try to be calm and speak to them, but it doesn't seem like they respond until I get loud. Anyways, this is something I must work on. I want to be a mom that hugs and cuddles and plays and has fun and teaches them about God from my example, not the mom that yells and strikes fear. I want them to respect me, not fear me.

My Kimmy

I have a 5-year-old named Kimmy. She is what I would call eccentric. She will wear cowgirl boots with shorts or sweatpants. She walks around wearing black plastic sunglasses with the lenses popped out. She is an individual and I admire her greatly.

She is also very funny. She says (& does) the funniest things. She is the comic relief in our family. Anything to get a laugh. She always comes up with these little one-liners and I wonder where they come from until we are watching a movie or TV show and I realize that she has chosen some obscure line and filed it away in that steel-trap mind of hers until she can bring it out again at an appropriate time.

For example, one Saturday morning (EARLY), she came to our bedroom and came to my side of the bed and was talking to me, in my face. I finally said, "Kimmy, go away, you're annoying me." She sat back for a moment, contemplating that. Eventually, she got back in my face and said, "I don't feel like I am annoying you."

Just the other day, she went into this tirade. She is a mama's girl and she went off: "That's MY mama! I paid good money for her. I paid MY money for her. She was expensive because she was the prettiest mama. Go find your own mama!"

Last night, the girls were getting their awards for completing their Sparks books in Awanas at church. For me, if I am on stage, I freeze, stare straight ahead until it is over, then slink back to my seat. Not my Kimmy. She got up there, did a little dance move, stroked her chest like she was so proud of herself, then proceeded to polish the medal she got for participating in Spark-a-rama, then hid it in her vest like she was afraid someone would steal it, all the while shooting silly faces our direction. All the other kids were standing there acting like ladies and gentleman, but my Kimmy is up there hamming it up. We couldn't stop laughing.

Lessons a 3-year-old teaches you, part 1

Okay, my husband will kill me if he knows I am publishing this on the web (he said if I told another living soul, he would deny it), but it is such a funny story that I have to tell it.

In the baby section of the store, they have these little containers of snacks. I'm not sure what you call them--they look like pieces of cereal and they are flavored cheese, apple, mango, etc. I had bought some for my 3-year-old son because, for some reason, he likes them. Anyways, I guess while I was at work last night, Billy was eating some and he fed some to his daddy. My husband said they were nasty tasting, but he ate them anyways to make Billy happy. He asked Billy, "do you have any more?" Billy nodded and reached into the front of his diaper and pulled out some more! My husband said he literally gagged. I, however, found it frickin' hilarious! I laughed until I cried.

Moral of this story? Never eat anything a toddler hands you. You have NO idea where it has been.