Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The Modern Family

Once upon a time, in a land not too far away, there lived a queen. She was neither a good queen nor a bad queen, but a queen that tried her very best. Her dominion was not very large: in fact, her subjects were very limited in number, but she loved them very much and would give anything for their well-being.

By and by, the queen had a son. The very idea of raising a son struck terror in the heart of the queen. She knew nothing about raising a modern-day knight. She had no magic mirrors or book of spells to help her, for this land was not magical. She feared her son becoming like the wicked king and she longed to instill the love of the Creator in him.

However, when the prince was born, he immediately bonded with the queen. The babe would stare lovingly into her face, bringing tears to the queen's eyes. The prince made the queen feel like a queen. The apprehension the queen had felt melted into love and adoration.

When the boy was a toddler, the wicked king decided that he was too much of a mama's boy and took him under wing, much to the chagrin of the queen. The sweet baby became a hard to manage child. He threw tantrums, he screamed, he hit, he kicked, he threw things, he said bad words. The queen remembered the sweet baby and loved her son still. She hoped he would grow out of this stage.

The prince started preschool. The queen received phone calls from the school that the boy was being mean to other students and could not be calmed and would not give ear to his instructors. As the problems escalated and the years passed, the queen realized that the boy was not outgrowing the issues. They were only getting worse. She went to parenting classes, read books, asked other parents, researched online. She knew it must somehow be her fault. She had done something wrong in raising the boy. The boy still loved his queen mother, however, and preferred her company above all others.

The wicked king, meanwhile, attempted to kill the queen and run away with the prince and the royal princesses, but his plans were thwarted. He was arrested, dethroned, overthrown, and left to set up a kingdom somewhere else. The queen found a new king, who was good and kind and loved the prince and the royal princesses and moved them into his castle, where he lived alone with his faithful canine companion.

As the prince began elementary school, the good king and the queen began to be more and more concerned about his behavior. Words like "high functioning autism" began to haunt them. So, they sought medical help. A doctor, or wizard of the first degree, sent them to a wizard of the second degree. He proclaimed that the prince had an affliction known as ADHD, complicated with a side of ODD. They tried different potions from the apothecary until they found one that seemed to calm the boy down. His behavior was still a problem, but he was finally able to sit still. They were then passed on to a wizard of the third degree.

This wizard gave them new parenting techniques and suggested new punishments for the prince. The wizard charged them with keeping a scroll of the boy's actions. The queen gained confidence in her ability to handle the boy and be a strong mother. However, she missed her son when he had to be banished to the tower, which was frequently. The wizard saw elements of OCD in the boy's behavior. One of his troubling observations was that the prince seemed happiest when he was playing by himself, being left alone.

Though the wizard was still working on the problem, the queen became nervous when the wizard mentioned "occupational therapy" if the prince could not gain control over himself and his actions. This, to the queen, sounded like giving up on her beloved son. She was further troubled when the wizard told them that the prince was selfish and narcissistic and that if they were to quit at this point, they would have to learn to accept him for who and what he is: someone that expects the world to revolve around him. The queen was brokenhearted when the wizard told her that her son obviously did not feel the same about her as she did about him or else he would miss her when he was banished to the tower. Since he didn't seem to mind being in the tower alone, he obviously didn't care about spending time with the queen or being a part of the royal family. The queen felt as though she had lost that sweet baby and that she'd imagined the close relationship she had believed she'd had with the prince.

As with all fairy tales, the question is whether they all lived happily ever after. Unfortunately, I can't tell you the answer to that question because the next chapter hasn't been written yet. We still don't know what is causing the problems with my son or how to help him.

No comments: