Saturday, May 22, 2021

5-22-2021 Journal Entry, aka 6 Month Anniversary

Just when I thought I was doing really good with my depression and feeling pretty good, today was the 6 month anniversary of Scott's death.  I've been aware of every anniversary, but didn't cry.  Today I fell completely apart.  The other day I felt a stab in the heart going through his workbench drawer.  Last night I thought this can't possibly be 6 months.  I mean, I know it is because it's spring not fall, but it really feels like it's only last month, like I've lost time.  I started crying when I went to pick up a Sam's order and I was irritable with mother the girls.  By the time I got home, I just went to bed and sobbed like it was the first week all over again.  Then the girls decided not to leave me/Billy alone.  Arrena went to Grace's wedding and left Kimberly and Eli until she got a hold of Paul to come over and watch Billy until she got back.  I just wanted to be left alone.

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