Feeling Sorry for Myself Parenting Rant

(written 9/17/13)

I was contemplating how hard parenthood is today and trying to remember a time when it was easier.  The further I reached back into my memory, the more I realized that it has never been easy.  Then I began to wonder what am I doing wrong?  I read stories on Facebook or blogs or news outlets about moms with the perfect husband, the perfect children who always behave, the perfect house that is always immaculate, the perfect job (or if she is a stay-at-home-mom, more than enough income to make it happen), the perfect school/or the perfect temperament to homeschool, the perfect body, the perfect wardrobe, the perfect friends, the perfect family, etc.  So, why am I divorced, constantly struggling with my children whether it be a behavior issue or a dire problem that we had no control over, my house is always a mess despite the fact that all the kids are in school and I am home all day due to the fact that I had to quit my perfect job and my self-employment isn't paying the bills, my finances are always critical, I don't have the desire to homeschool yet I can't get the public school system to give my children the education they deserve without being exposed to filth and violence and can't afford private school tuition, finally on the losing weight side of the teeter totter I've been riding for 14 years, and had to suffer hellish in-laws before I was blessed with the ones I have now while being cursed with cousins who hate me for who knows what.