What Can You Say About Mothers-In-Law That Hasn't Already Been Said?

In sharp contrast to the previous post about Chris' foster parents, there is Chris' real mom. I hesitate to write about this, fearing that someday it will get back to her, somehow. I can really sum her up in one description: she is manic-depressive and schizophrenic, if that gives you any idea of what we are dealing with.

A BIT of background: She was 15 when she had Chris. She had three more sons after that, spaced two years apart. The youngest was adopted by her half-brother and his wife and he only found out he was adopted about six years ago. The next youngest was raised by his father in Ohio. That left Chris and his brother Michael. She was far from mother of the year. She was a drug addict and would leave her kids with strangers when she was high. She once left the kids at the house and called her mom on the way out of town, to tell her to go get them. To this day, she insists that she left to be hospitalized for an illness. When Chris told her that his step-mom was hitting him for refusing to call her "mom", her only reaction was to say, "Well, I guess you better start calling her 'mom' then!" She dated guys that would beat on Chris and Michael until Chris got big enough, then he started beating them up first so they wouldn't touch him or his brother. She once called Chris over to help her because her boyfriend was beating her up and when he arrived and started hitting the boyfriend, she called the cops...on Chris! There are tons more stories like this, but I don't have the time to appall you with them right now. She will even admit that she wasn't a good mother, but somehow she still thinks that Chris "owes" her something.

I wouldn't blame him if he never spoke to her again. In fact, there are times when I wish he would take that route. But, I think the respect he gives her is based wholly on his Mexican heritage. Women aren't treated equally by the men (at least in his family), but they are taught to respect their mothers, no matter what kind of person she is.

She really drives us crazy. Her mental illness makes me afraid to leave the kids with her, but Chris refuses to withhold the kids from her. I worry about the negative influence she has on them. The girls caught her rolling her own "cigarettes" once, if you know what I mean by that! We were livid. Once, she had been watching the kids and only an hour or two after I picked them up, she called Chris threatening to kill herself. He is not the person to get sympathy from. He will call your bluff and force your hand. He told her to go ahead and hung up. Apparently she called her clinic or something and they called the police and had her hauled in to the mental hospital. She called me a couple of days later from there, saying that she would still watch the kids when she got out, that no one was going to take her grandkids away from her! I was thinking, "Well, let's get you out of a straight jacket and then we'll talk about it!" Sometimes I wonder if her craziness is an act to get attention. Chris thinks it's mostly that she fried her brain with all the drugs she has done in her life.

Lately, the source of annoyance with her has been financially related. A couple of years ago she had tried to get disability partly for a back injury she had gotten in a car wreck and mostly for her mental illness that renders her unable to work with the public. She doesn't deal with people well. Even the kids--she can only handle them for a few hours and then they start getting on her nerves and she has to bring them back. Especially Arrena, who takes great pride in arguing with her Gaga Pat and telling her off. Kimmy likes going over there because she is Gaga's favorite (which infuriates us, that she plays favorites, and that it's so obvious, even to the children) and gets whatever she wants. Billy likes going over because he likes her newest (fifth) husband Jack (their wedding is pictured here, "minister" in the middle) because Jack lets him do guy stuff with him. But, I digress. She was on welfare while she waited for the disability to be approved. That can take years, which I know from when my dad got it. But, when her welfare was finally cut, she went and got a job, ruining any chances of getting the disability by proving that she does have the ability to work!

But, her working is sporadic. She quits if someone ticks her off. Or she won't show up and gets fired. Then she will sit without a job for months. Her husband is a steel worker, and makes great money when he is working, but he often finds excuses not to go to work. Or he fails his urinalysis and gets fired. They have no children at home and lived in a cruddy neighborhood, so the rent wasn't high. They didn't have any bills besides their month-to-month bills, so they should have been fine. But, they could never pay their bills. They constantly ask us for money. She sometimes will call and ask if one of the kids can come spend time with her, but it's just a ruse because as soon as she comes over, she hits us up for money. They were really dumb because they took on two car payments! They couldn't pay their rent and were evicted. I couldn't understand where their money was going! They weren't paying their rent or their car payments, they were constantly asking for money, but they always had cigarettes and would be out drinking at a bar and obviously Jack was getting weed since he was failing his U/A's! Chris gets phone calls from check advance places, asking him to get a hold of her for them, because she owes them money. We have a car loan at the same place they do and every time Chris goes in, they ask him about his mother's payment. He gets so mad about it because she is an adult, why should they expect him deal with her? She is just another customer that they should deal with themselves, instead of calling him every time she misses a payment. She tries to throw guilt trips on us: "It must be nice to have two cell phones and a home phone when we can't even buy milk and toilet paper!" Like we should feel guilty because we go to work every day and earn what we have. Or like we should support them because they want to sit at home and be lazy. And I feel like when we do help them, even supposing we give them money for milk and toilet paper, we are supporting their other habits in a round about way!

Anyways, they are now living in a travel trailer (one of the dumb things they decided to spend money on instead of paying their bills) in an RV park. Half of our garage is filled with their stuff. They swore they were getting a storage unit and it would only be in there for a couple of weeks. So far, it's been there about a month and a half. With winter approaching, I'd like to be able to park my truck in there!

The other dumb thing is that Jack (who looks like Sam Elliot if he had ever played a biker--sort of a cross between his roles of Virgil Earp in Tombstone and Wade Garrett in Road House. Ooh, I just saw a picture of Sam Elliott online that looks more like Jack, so I'll post it here.) decided he wanted to have a motorcycle built. He basically had a frame and that was it. Maybe a few other random parts. Chris took him to see his bike mechanic and Jack left the bike with the mechanic who started working on it. Jack stopped paying him. The mechanic is holding his bike until he gets paid. This has been going on for a year or so. Finally in the last couple of weeks, Jack has started paying again. Who knows how long it will last.

When we had the going-away party for Chris' foster parents, we invited his real mom to come because she liked Jesse & Tena and wanted to say goodbye. We told her what time the party started and when she heard that Chris was speaking at the beginning, she said she wanted to be there for sure to hear that. She also agreed to help with the kids since we would both be busy. She finally showed up when the party was mostly over. Most of the guests had left, the chairs and tables had been packed away, and we were loading up the leftover food in the back of the truck. Kimmy ran after me as I was taking the apple crisp out to the truck and said, "Wait! Gaga Pat wants some apple pie!" I said, "Well, then grandma should have been here hours ago. We are trying to clean up." And since I refused to bring the food back in just for her, she was joking with Tena, that she would come over later and eat our leftovers. I said, "Oh, really? That's like the story of the little red hen who asked everyone to help her bake the bread. No one helped, but everyone wanted to eat it!" They laughed, but later she was complaining that I had told her she couldn't have any of the food at all. She comes over and raids our fridge any time she feels like it anyways. She has even eaten food that I had set aside for a meal.

Sunday was her 48th birthday, so we took her and Jack to Texas Roadhouse for dinner. I think it would have been easier to have gotten her a gift. The kids ate free and we still spent $90! She had the nerve to get mad at us because we wouldn't buy her an alcoholic drink. For one, not with OUR money. For two, she was taking two of the kids with her to spend the night! Why can't she just be happy with the expensive meal that she got?

I had to talk about all of this so I could get the negative out and continue trying to be nice to her. It's not easy.

Internal Battles

I was really struggling with myself this evening. I was really mad at Chris and my feelings were at odds with my head. I wanted to lash out and retaliate, but I knew what I SHOULD be doing. I went to church this evening, a little bitter and angry. In the car, I could hear this still, small voice in my head telling me what I should do, but I was squelching it in order to think on what actions (direct or passive-aggressive) would make me FEEL better. If you remember the Bible story where God reveals himself to Elijah, it says that there was a wind so strong that it tore the mountain, but God was not in the wind. Then there was an earthquake, but God was not in the earthquake. Then there was a fire, but God was not in the fire. After that, came a still, small voice and that was God. Sometimes I think that if you don't listen to the still, small voice, God stops speaking to you. But other times, I think God tries a little louder to get your attention. Such was the case tonight. Our pastor's father-in-law was speaking tonight. He just celebrated his 65th anniversary and has been in the ministry for 58 years. He spoke tonight on I Corinthians 13--the love chapter. I groaned inwardly. THIS is what the voice in my head had been trying to tell me, but I had shushed it quickly. Now, I was at His mercy for about half an hour. You know already what happened. The passage is: "4) Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5) It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6) Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7) It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8) Love never fails." The italics are mine, indicative of how much of the passage was convicting! So, instead of leaving my phone off and staying out as long as possible, taking the kids to McDonald's and bringing him nothing (as was the beginning of my evil scheme), my first step of charity was to turn on my phone. Which promptly warned me of a message, of course from my infuriating spouse, who was locked out of the house and accused me of doing it on purpose out of spite. I bit my tongue near off and tried to call him back. There was no answer. I could have gone on to McDonald's with the kids, but I took a deep breath, gritted my teeth, and went by the house first to see if he had gotten in yet and if he had eaten yet. He was, in fact, there and was hungry. And instead of ignoring him or letting him have it, I calmly stated why I was angry. Not sure if it did any good, but I did what I think God wanted me to do. I know it seems like a simple thing, turning on my cell phone, and picking up some McDonald's for him, but it was an about-face for me. Someone once accused me of not having a backbone because I didn't stand up for myself and basically didn't fire away with both barrels when someone (specifically, Chris) mistreated me. Honestly, I think it's harder NOT to react. I didn't want to be nice. At all. I'm right. He's wrong. Why should I have to be the bigger person here? Because anyone can react. But God demands for us to love our brethren and the world and "by this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." That self-control and collaring feelings and proceeding even though wounded is one of the hardest things I think I have ever done. And it hasn't gotten any easier over the years. Jesus never said it would be easy to turn the other cheek. And I have to keep recalling the lesson I learned years ago about forgiveness--how can I expect to be forgiven, if I don't forgive?

Anyways, that's enough deep thinking for today. My brain hurts.

I am biting the bullet and getting my hair permed in the morning. ACK! I called the lady that used to cut my dad's hair and the bottom fell out when she said she was quitting to be a nurse in two weeks and she is booked solid. So, my finding a bond with my stylist scheme fell apart. I decided to call the Xenon beauty school and make an appointment instead. I figure whoever does my hair will a student, too new to be unfriendly towards people who aren't regulars. And if I like her, I'll ask her to let me know where she ends up working and I will go to her every time. Best I can come up with at this time! We'll see how it goes. I am so nervous!

One of THOSE Weeks...

Well, to start off the tale of woe, I haven't been able to use my drier all week. I had been hearing this strange sound in the living room late at night and when I went towards the sound, it stopped. I finally found out that there was a growing hole near the baseboard by the front door, so obviously there is a mouse chewing a hole in the wall. I was ticked off. I hate mice and I pay for exterminators, yet I still have numerous pests! But THAT is a whole other tirade! I went and found some mouse poison packs in the garage and threw one in a corner of the garage behind some stuff which is in the vicinity of the backside of the wall with the mystical growing portal. Well, a day or two later, the hole hadn't enlarged any, but there was a stench in the garage, as of that of a dead mouse. Well, I went to put some laundry in the drier in the basement and it came out with the same stench. Thought it was a fluke, so I did another load and it came out the same way. No stench from the outside, only inside. Great. Dead mouse somewhere INSIDE my drier. And of course, Chris claims, "I'll take it apart tonight and find it," but never does. So, I have had to hang everything to dry--clothes, underwear, socks, towels. And since my fabric softener is in the form of drier sheets, you can imagine how stiff everything is! I was going to use my mom's drier, but it rained a couple of days this week which meant Chris took my truck instead of the motorcycle.

Then Wednesday night, Kimmy complained that she didn't feel good. This is an EXTREMELY common complaint with her, so I didn't pay much attention, except my usual, "Go lay down, then." I guess after I went to work, she threw up twice. When I got home, she and Billy both had a fever and Billy was shivering violently and suffering from gads of diarrhea. It's been like that ever since. I thought Kimmy was better because she kept her dinner down Thursday night, but she threw up again this morning. She is complaining that it's unfair for her to be sick because she missed going to the library Thursday (even though I picked up her summer reading prize pack for her as well as an armload of books), going to the zoo today (even though we have a membership and go often AND I brought her home a gift from the zoo's gift shop), and might miss out on two of her friends' parties tomorrow if I'm not convinced she's better. Arrena has been a TREMENDOUS help to me. It's been a little difficult with one in one bathroom and one in the other, both crying for mama. Kimmy even accused me of paying attention to Billy and not to her. Arrena, meanwhile, has been trying to disinfect the house--I can't tell if it's so she won't get sick and miss out on everything or if it's to gain allowance money or if it's just to help me out. Regardless, she has cleaned and helped with the two sickies and even got them some animal masks at the zoo today before she got one for herself. Let's hope she doesn't catch it now.

Today while we were at the zoo, I got a phone call from the school board. Our daughters have been in Derby schools the last two years. We lived in Derby district, even though we were technically in Wichita. I didn't like the neighborhood school--we had lived in that neighborhood when we first moved back here and it is a hotbed of crime and drugs, etc. We got out of there as fast as we could. Even though we were living across the highway from that neighborhood, we were still in that district. I didn't want my kids in those schools. I hear the schools are good, but I didn't want to have to tell my children that they can't go over to any of their friends' houses because I don't know if their parents are crackheads or dope dealers or whatever. Children in that neighborhood run unattended in the streets at an early age. So, we transferred to Pleasantview. It was approved the past two years. But, we moved out of Derby district and into Wichita district. However, Derby enrollment has been down, so they adopted an open enrollment this year where you could get an out-of-district waiver and still be approved to go to Derby schools. The girls are used to the school, have friends, and I have been pleased with their progress and the programs. I didn't think it would be a problem to get the waiver because there is supposed to be a hierarchy of preference--first, children in that neighborhood; second, children not in the neighborhood but have been at the school previously; third, other children out of the district that have never attended that school. Since Arrena has two years in and Kimmy has one, I assumed we would get preferential treatment in the process. We got the call today that Kimmy has a spot, but not Arrena. They offered another school for Arrena, but I said that I would not split the girls up in two different schools--that's stupid. They said the only way they could stay together was to go to one of the schools in the bad neighborhood. I said absolutely not, out of the question. I talked to Arrena's friend's mom, who is a teacher in Derby and she said she was told that they didn't follow the hierarchy, they just drew the applications out of a pile at random. That's great, teaching our kids that it doesn't matter if you work hard and put your time in. And this teacher didn't even get to have her child at the school she works at for the third year in a row--they can't even get it right for the teachers! I am so mad about this! And you can imagine that the girls are really upset about it too. There's been a few tears today over it. And with ten days left until school starts, I don't even know where they will be going to school! I guess it will have to be in Wichita, but I am not 100% sure which school is in our district. UGH!

As if all this isn't enough to drive someone (me) bonkers, Chris is in one of his "woe-is-me" pity-party attitudes. First it was that me and Arrena and her friend ate at the zoo and we didn't think about him enough to bring him some food (he told me he was going to grab something before he came home). So, I babied him and got him KFC for dinner. But, then he whined because he likes to go out riding his motorcycle on Friday nights and he didn't have a babysitter. This ticked me off. First off, just Sunday, he told me that he wasn't going to go out on Fridays anymore, that he wanted to spend the time with the kids. Second, two of the kids are sick. And there he was, trying to decide who he could call to watch them so he could go out. When he figured out he had no one, he sulked and pouted and talked about selling his bike because he ONLY gets to ride it back and forth to work. Waah, waah, waah! So, I said that if I could, I would get off early so he could go. But, as luck would have it, volume was too high tonight, so I only got off 40 minutes early (which is still nothing to sneeze at around there! And certainly better than the extra hour we were threatened with). While I was at work, he texted me on my breaks to see if I was off yet. When I texted "no" back, he replied with, "I knew it." When I got home, he had gone to bed and when I went to tell him I was home, he acted pouty and sulky again. I usually go to the store Friday nights, but I came straight home for him for NOTHING! Now I have to figure out when I can go, which will probably have to be tomorrow morning, which sucks! I guarantee he will probably get on that bike as soon as he gets up and leave me to take three kids, two of them sick, to the store. And what's worse is that the high tomorrow is forecasted to be 100 degrees--lovely weather to be loading groceries in and out with three children in tow! ARGH, but it's just the tip of the iceberg. He has been on my nerves a lot here lately. And now I guess I get to sleep on the couch since both sickies are flanking him in our bed, likely a maneuver on his part as revenge on me for what? Going to work? Not storming out of work so he could go on a BIKE RIDE? For not allowing him to call my mother to babysit in the middle of her working eleven days in a row with no day off? It's all my fault somehow, I am sure. Do men get PMS?

Okay, needed to blow off that steam! I'm all better now....

Our First Family Camping Trip

We had our first foray into camping this weekend. As we are planning to camp for three nights in Oklahoma in a few weeks, we decided to make a test run: an overnighter at nearby El Dorado Lake. I was determined not to be the big baby on this trip, supposing that my whole family would be all gung-ho and I would be the one that hated camping. Boy, was I wrong!

We went out Friday afternoon to check out the campsites and figure out where we might want to camp. We would have reserved a site, but the site host had taken his wife to the hospital with a broken ankle. So we just looked around.

I went on to work Friday night, then went to the store afterwards. We still had supplies we needed and Arrena and Kimmy were having a tea party with their friends Monday, so I wanted to make sure I didn't have to go to the store again before that. The shopping took forever. My stomach had been feeling yucky for a few days and I was tired, so I think I just moved slowly. I finally left and went home to get some things packed and organized. Chris had gathered up gear in a corner of the garage that he would load into the truck in the morning. I laughed out loud when I saw the huge pile of stuff he had planned to take! I finally made it to bed around 4:30am.

Chris woke me up at 7:30am with a desire to get an early start so we wouldn't lose all the good camping spots. Needless to say, I was exhausted. We loaded up the truck. That was so funny because we had taken out the third row of seats in the Expedition and filled the back, floor to ceiling, plus there was more stuff packed into the floorboards beneath the kids' feet and mine as well. For a one night camping trip! Ha, ha! You'd have thought we were moving out there!

We got out there and picked a very large, shady spot, right next to a walking bridge that led to the swimming beach. It's in El Dorado State Park, but it wasn't really near the lake--you couldn't even see the lake because where you turn off to go to the campsite we were at, you're right by the huge dam. We were by the Walnut River. We set up our campsite and then headed out to explore a bit and get some lunch. We had some miscommunication along those lines. I thought we were leaving first thing Sunday morning, so I only packed food for lunch and dinner Saturday. Turned out, Chris had planned to leave after lunch Sunday, so we were two meals short. We decided to eat at Freddy's Frozen Custard for lunch Saturday. I suddenly had an urge to go shopping when I spotted a store on the main street in El Dorado called Robin's. I had never heard of it before, but I guess they have been featured on the Oprah Winfrey Show, have made TV commercials, and have a website (http://www.shoprobins.com). From looking at the display in the window, Chris concluded that they carry my style clothing. From looking at the website, I would say that might be true, but it is likely doubtful that they carry my current size. Still need to lose that weight!

Anyways, after lunch, we headed back to camp and got changed to go swimming at the beach. The beach was nasty with goose droppings. I had seen a flock of geese through the treeline earlier, but hadn't thought what that would mean. We waded for a while, then headed back to camp. Our shady campsite had become decreasingly shaded as the afternoon progressed. Fortunately we had brought a blowup pool and set it up and filled it with the icy water from the spigot our campsite boasted. The kids splashed and played and Chris and I dragged chairs over and put our feet in. I think it was 98 degrees this weekend, so it was plenty hot and if you're not familiar with Kansas' humidity...you are very fortunate indeed! It was so hot, we went through seven bags of ice in our two small coolers! For, what, 28 hours? Yikes!

There was a family with a little girl, almost four, camped next to us, so the girls invited her to come over and play on their inflatable that we brought (yes, they lugged that huge thing along with us!) and wade in the pool. After she went back to her mom and dad, we started dinner. Chris had said a couple of his friends might come by to meet me. I have been giving him a hard time because he has several friends with motorcycles that he rides with and hangs out with, but I have never met them. So, they showed up when Chris was halfway through making dinner. Okay, first I must tell you that I was really not in the mood to entertain. For one, that three hours of sleep I had gotten was really not cutting it. Then the heat was draining me even more. I felt like I was melting into oblivion! All I wanted to do was lie down in a coolER spot and and stay there. With the heat, goes my appearance. I was pouring sweat; my hair was a frizzy, damp, matted mess; any makeup I had started off the day with, was long gone. Not the condition in which you want to meet anyone! As they arrived, Chris abandoned his cooking. I had been in the middle of making plates for the kids and myself, but I had to run over and take over the cooking to rescue the burgers and sausages from being burned. Chris had made extra for his friends, but they didn't want to eat. I finished making the plates for me and the kids and we went to the screen house to eat, so we wouldn't be plagued by flies and I invited his friends to come sit with us in the screen house so we could visit, but they declined. So I sat with the kids in the screen house while Chris and his friend, his wife, and another woman friend of theirs (girlfriend of another guy friend) conversed far enough away from me that I couldn't participate in the conversation. Between the heat, my lack of sleep, and my stomachache, I was getting irritable. So, when they left me with the children and wandered off chatting, I nearly lost it. When Chris returned and they left, I informed him that I was not the babysitter or the hired help, but that that's how he makes me feel sometimes. He had been offended when some of the parents that brought their children to Kimmy's birthday party had refused to come in the backyard to chat or even meet him--I pointed out that his friends just did the same thing to me. I then retired to the tent to lay in front of the fans we had brought. He said I was pouting, but I was trying to cool off, literally and figuratively.

Billy had started to break out in a heat rash. He has really bad eczema--landed him in the ER last year--so heat is a big problem with him. Chris packed us up in the truck and drove to WalMart...and bought an air conditioner for the tent! We had talked about it for the three-day camping trip, but I was sure we could last one night without one! And I was fine as long as I laid down in front of that fan. I knew it could only get better as it got darker and cooler. I was prepared to tough it out. But, with the rest of the family whining about heat and lack of a TV, I turned out not to be the biggest sissy in the family! It did make it cooler in there, but I worry that it will make me want to hang out in the tent all day instead of being out doing other things!

There was a Vietnam reunion at the lake this weekend, so when it got dark, we drove over to watch the fireworks display they had. After that, we went back to the campsite and went to bed. I thought the girls would be scared and would end up sleeping with us, but they must have been really worn out because they fell asleep right away. Billy took a little more time and woke up once in the night crying and screaming. It took a long time to get him calm again. I woke up a few times, listening to the sounds of crickets, locusts, frogs, and other noises that I couldn't identify.

When we awoke, I went to the screen house and found crumbs all around and all the cookies were gone and there had been a hole chewed in the bag of hotdog buns and most of the buns had been chewed up. We had forgotten to store the non-perishable food away and had just left it in the closed up screen house. We're guessing a raccoon raided us. Lesson learned.

We went and ate breakfast at Braum's in town. Then we packed up most of our camp and went fishing. Chris had restrung the kids' poles several times, but had let them practice casting and Billy and Kimmy's had gotten tangled until he was tired of fixing them and put them away. He and Kimmy fished on one side of a cove, while Arrena fished on the other side, with me and Billy cooling off with our feet in the water nearby. Billy didn't seem to mind that he wasn't fishing--he was amusing himself throwing rocks in the water and scooping up water in his bucket. I don't fish. I don't like the idea of the hooks in the fish's mouth or of "cleaning" the fish. When my dad used to take me fishing, he would give me a pole without a hook on it and I would just cast and reel in all day and be perfectly happy with that. I think daddy was proud because it reminded him of one of his favorite songs (Red Sovine's Daddy's Girl: "I recall the day I took you on a fishin' trip. You said: 'Daddy won't that hook hurt the fish's lip?' And you said if they don't get air, those things in the can will die. So we turned the worms all loose and chased some butterflies. Daddy's Girl, Daddy's Girl, I'm the center of Daddy's world. I know I'm Daddy's number one, for he loves me like I was his son. Daddy's Girl."). Anyways, the fishing only lasted about 20-30 minutes and we realized that the boats were too close (we were getting waves) and were scaring the fish. So, we loaded up, broke camp, and headed home.

Chris said, "I don't think this family was cut out for camping." I said, "We spent enough money on gear, a year-long parking permit, a fishing license, and an a/c unit we don't need. I don't care if we hate it, we're going to keep on camping and get our money's worth out of it!" It wasn't so bad (except for the heat). The only other bad part was that there was a group of teenagers nearby and they liked to tromp right through the middle of our campsite to get to the bridge. So rude. I would open my mouth to tell them off, then stop, trying to let my husband be the man of the family, but he never did say anything to them. I expected him to, I wanted him to, but was surprised when he didn't. He said that they are the type of jerk teenagers who would come back when we were asleep or away from the campsite and either steal or vandalize our stuff, so he just let it slide.

The only real outdoorsman of the family was Billy! Where we had camped, we were within walking distance of a bathroom, but a little too far for a three-year-old who is in the middle of potty-training. So, since he was a boy, Chris told him to pee in the bushes behind our tent. At first, it scared Billy. He couldn't do it. But, he finally acclimated to the idea and before we knew it, we'd look around wondering where he was and see that he was by the bushes, back to us, with his shorts around his ankles. Then he'd run over and exclaim excitedly, "Me go pee-pee!" I took a picture of this--but it's for the blackmail file, so I won't post it here! Then when we got home, hot and tired, wanting nothing more than a bath and to relax on the couch in front of the TV, enjoying the air conditioning, he immediately grabbed his sidewalk chalk and headed out to the back porch to sit in the heat and play. I couldn't believe it!

If nothing else, we learned what we need to do for a longer trip--for example, secure the food and I want an oscillating fan for the screen house--the wind doesn't penetrate the screen very well. It was a good trial run. I think with practice and repetition, we could learn to like camping. Though, I think spring and fall would be better seasons for us!

I wish I hadn't scheduled the girls' tea party so soon after our camping trip, but it was too late to change my mind. It was fun for them. My mom wondered why she had never done something like that for me.

After all of the adventures, I feel like a wrung out dishcloth. I think this week, especially with the hot forecast, will be a week to relax and recuperate.

Fun Weekend

I really like having weekends off now! Chris' mom got married Friday night. I didn't go. Well, for one, it's her sixth marriage. For two, they've been talking about it for a while, but they didn't give us definite plans until Wednesday, so that was too late for me to get the day off. The kids didn't go either because it was at someone's house and there was also a party going on over there (drinking, stripper, need I say more?). Anyways, after the wedding, they picked up the kids and took them for most of the weekend. Jack is going out of town to work, so he wanted to spend some time with the kids before he left. He's the closest thing they have to a grandpa since both our dads have passed and Chris' foster dad lives in Texas (soon to be Canada). Jack's a little strange, but he loves the kids and they like him a lot too. Anyways, this left Chris and I free!

After work Friday night, I went to the grocery store, as is my custom. Chris had been out with friends, but was home when I got home. It was late, so we slept in Saturday morning, which is VERY rare. It was after 10am before we roused and still we snoozed and lounged in bed until after 11. It was after noon before we were showered and dressed and ready to go anywhere. We went and ate lunch at his uncle's restaurant. After that we did a little bit of shopping. We went to this craft store that I really like and bought Kimmy some Webkinz for her birthday. Then we went to the party store and bought invitations for her party. After that, we went to Sam's Club to renew our membership there and then browsed the tents and camping gear. We found a tent we liked, but we decided to shop around first. We checked WalMart and found one we really liked at a good price and also a screen house that was pretty cheap (it matched too!). We decided to try the Coleman outlet, but it was closed. We went to the flea market and found an Indian/Eagle painting for Chris' mom and Jack for a wedding gift. We had wanted to go to the drive-in, but there weren't any movies playing that we really wanted to see. So we checked all the theaters and didn't find anything worth seeing, so we ate dinner out and then went home. We snuggled on the couch and watched two videos. By that time, it was after 10pm, so we decided to hop on his bike and we took off to get ice cream. We rode around a bit and then went home to bed.

It was so fun being by ourselves for a whole day. We really enjoyed hanging out together and just goofing off, without having to be anywhere or do anything. Very relaxing. And since I tend to stick close to home most of the time, it was nice to be out most of the day.

Sunday morning, the kids came home and we went to church. They had a great time at Vacation Bible School this week and were sad for it to be over. I hated wasting gas going back and forth, so I tried to find something to occupy my time while they were there. I went to the YMCA every day except Monday. I loved the shower time there! I never get to relax in the shower. It's always quick because I can't trust the kids that long. At the Y, there was strong water pressure that I don't have at home, so it felt like a massage on my head, neck, and shoulders. I brought all my pampering stuff: facial scrub, foot scrub, etc., and took long showers. Friday, I pampered myself further and got my nails done! I haven't done that since I was pregnant with Billy!

Anyways, we finally joined the church that we have been attending for several months.

After church, we bought the tent and screen house we had seen at WalMart. Then we ate lunch at Red Robin's and the kids were thrilled by a guy that was walking around making balloon animals. We went home and Kimmy and I went to Toys 'R Us so she could show me what she wanted for her birthday. We did it the high tech way--instead of writing it down, I took pictures with my digital camera!

I test-drove a new chicken recipe for dinner and everyone seemed to like it...a lot. All in all, a great weekend and I am sad it's over.

Our 13th Anniversary & Father's Day

Tomorrow is our 13th anniversary. I cannot believe that we have been married that long. Sometimes it feels LONGER.... Ha, ha. But most times, I feel like time has flown by. I have been feeling sympathy for parents whose children think they are so old and out of touch! I feel like my childhood is not that far back! Where did 13 years go!? YIKES!



Anyways, enough lamenting the passage of time. This weekend was my first weekend on my new schedule, which means I was off work! So, Chris and I, who have gotten used to day dates, went out last night. We acted like kids and rode his motorcycle. I don't care much for bike riding. He loves it, but to be perfectly honest, it kind of scares me. But I do it because he loves it so much. And his bike is so nice. I picked it out for him and it gets a lot of stares and comments--no one believes that a woman picked it out, especially one that isn't really a bike enthusiast. We have plans to improve on it--we want to paint it a deep cobalt blue with silver real flames. Not the cartoonish looking flames--the ones that look real. And we want to chrome the frame. Anyways, I digress....

We went to TGIFridays to eat and then we went and saw the Prince Caspian movie. I love the Narnia books and I loved The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. Prince Caspian was a little different than the book, but it was for dramatics and it was still pretty good. Chris wasn't really gung-ho about seeing it, but he agreed afterwards that it was good. We thought about going somewhere afterwards because it was rare for the kids to be spending the night elsewhere and to not to have to rush home, but we were limited as to what was open at that time of night, so we decided to go ahead and go home. We (well, only me, actually) stayed up to watch a scary video at home.

Today was father's day. Chris didn't give much direction as to what he wanted for gifts, so he was hard to shop for. And everything I wanted to get him, I suddenly couldn't find. I was so frustrated. I ended up getting him a shirt for church and a couple of videos. The biggest hit was an afterthought gift. It was a pen with a laser pointer and flashlight. He and the kids had a blast playing with that, chasing the laserpoint all around the room. Arrena is taking him out to lunch tomorrow for her father's day gift.

It was somewhat of a sad day, really. I was already a little melancholy after the sermon at church (I'm not for sure why, but a few tears were rolling down my cheek by the invitation). Then after church, my mom started crying because she said my grandpa has been sick and weak and she worries about him, which made me well up too. And just the fact that both Chris and I have lost our dads made me sad. Only a few tears, yet it seems any tears lately sends me into a migraine.



We spent some time at my grandparents' along with my aunt, my uncle, and a few cousins. But Billy has been feverish and clingy today, so he may be coming down with something and we went home and put him to bed. After we got home, I reserved a campsite for my family reunion in Oklahoma over labor day weekend. I'm not much of an outdoor person and haven't been camping since I was a toddler, so we'll see how that goes! Daddy's only wish for father's day was some quality time with his motorcycle, so he promptly went on a bike ride...after a few winks. When he came home, he gave each of the kids a ride around the block. They loved it.

Last week was mostly boring. We didn't stick to our schedule at all. Lots of rain and storms kept us inside a lot. We had a tornado touch down about 2 miles due south of us on Wednesday night. The kids were scared to death. Even daddy got in the basement, which is unusual for him. My cell phone started ringing as soon as the tornado sirens went off and I said, "There's my mom, making sure we are in the basement!" I was right. Chris needed my truck to go to work a few times, so that left us stranded a few days. I did some decorating--I hadn't put up many pictures because I hadn't planned to live here long, but I guess we will, so I broke down and put some up.

About the only outing last week was to the library. The kids really love that. They are enrolled in a summer reading program. Billy has already reached his goal and the girls (who had a higher goal) are getting close.




Kimmy planted her garden last Saturday: lots of tomatoes (we are suffering withdrawal because of the FDA ban), some green peppers, jalapenos, onion, and watermelon.

The kids start vacation Bible school tomorrow and are really excited about that.

I bought the kids a small wading pool and they are thrilled with that. Well, the girls love it, Billy's a little scared of the water. They have been playing in it the last two days. Might be the last time for a while--it's supposed to rain and storm all week.

Guess that's all there is to report! TTFN! Ta-ta for now!