Hi-ho, Hi-ho, It's Off to Work I Go?

Well, I believe I previously reported that I would be able to be a stay-at-home mom. I should have said that my husband believed this to be the case. I was skeptical, but since that is what I really wanted, I was willing to see how it played out. But, as it turns out, there is more expense than there is income.

We worked out a budget and found that, indeed, we are in the red. We were able to stay afloat this long due to some money my new husband had set back, but that can only hold out so far. It would be okay if I was actually getting some child support from my ex-husband (but I am not) and if Billy's preschool wasn't $500 a month. So we began to think that maybe I could just go to work temporarily to make up the difference until Billy is out of preschool and I start getting child support.

I had previously looked into and tested to work for the census bureau. I called the local census office and found it would be easier to retest than for them to try to find my old test in another state and under my former name. So, I went down to city hall and took the test. Turned out that I scored a 27 out of 28. The examiner advised me to take the management test. He told our group that the higher the score, the sooner you would be called for a job. I was hesitant to seek a management position, but figured it couldn't hurt to have options. I took the management test and scored a 24 out of 29. I don't know if that is good or not. I have been waiting for a call with news of a job offer. It's been a couple of weeks and still no word.

Meanwhile, we found out that Scott's work schedule will be changing. A few months back, his company (MAST Ambulance) was swallowed up into the city's fire department, or are in the process of making this changeover. They are now trying to make them adopt firefighters' schedules. This will mean that he won't have regular days off: his days off will alternate. We REALLY don't like this. He's put in nine years there and earned his weekends off, but now he's going to end up missing every other Sunday at church. This back and forth schedule makes it nearly impossible for me to have a job, since Scott is my only source of childcare, unless I work very limited hours while the kids are at school. And with summer coming up and there being NO school, that's even worse. So now we are looking more and more into me working from home, i.e., Amazon selling, etc. And of course praying for God to provide a way through all of this.

More musings...(vol. 3)

Things I learned last night from my book:

* We will break down if we don't fill up with Jesus. We will run out of fuel and have nothing left to give.

* If you work your schedule around God, put Him first, you will find yourself getting things done supernaturally.

* Trust yourself to God. He wants you. He wants to take care of you and be your everything. (I thought of the verse in Romans 12:1 that talks about presenting yourself as a living sacrifice.)

* Receive forgiveness for past sin and let it go. Let go of the guilt.

* What has God protected us from that we never even knew about? I try (note the word "TRY") not to get upset if something has happened to make me late--I always wonder if God has caused the distraction and thus helped me to avoid a wreck or something else that would have harmed me.

* Romans 15:13 "Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

* Avoid strife with others and be humble. Romans 12:18 "If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men."

* When correction comes, pray for God to help you keep your mouth shut, and for grace to receive correction. Don't let a wall go up.

* Don't pretend with God that it's all okay. He knows. "If our relationships aren't right, our lives won't be right. And if our private lives aren't right, our public lives aren't right."

* Slow down and stop hurrying. People who rush and hurry all the time are more often impatient and short-tempered--not enjoyable people to be around. Ecclesiastes 3:1 "To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven."

* How we start the day sets the pace for the rest of the day. Start in your mind. Peace of mind is a prerequisite for peace in our life. Proverbs 23:7a "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he."

* Leave room in your schedule for the unexpected--pad it a little--so that if something comes up, it won't ruin your whole day or send you into a tailspin.

Today I thought of some more song lyrics...

I'm the one with two left feet
Standing on a lonely street
I can't even walk a straight line
And every time you look at me
I'm spinning like an autumn leaf
Bound to hit bottom sometime

Where would I be without someone to save me
Someone who won't let me fall?

You are everything that I live for
Everything that I can't believe is happening
You're standing right in front of me
With arms wide open
All I know is
Every day is filled with hope
You are everything that I believe for
And I can't help but breathe you in
Breathe again
Feeling all this life within
Every single beat of my heart

I'm the one with big mistakes
Big regrets and bigger breaks
Than I ever care to confess
Oh but, You're the one who looks at me
And sees what I was meant to be
More than just a beautiful mess

Where would I be without someone to save me
Someone who won't let me fall

You are everything that I live for
Everything that I can't believe is happening
You're standing right in front of me
With arms wide open
All I know is
Every day is filled with hope
You are everything that I believe for
And I can't help but breathe you in
Breathe again
Feeling all this life within
Every single beat of my heart

You're everything good in my life
Everything honest and true
And all of those stars hanging up in the sky
Could never shine brighter than You

You are everything that I live for
Everything that I can't believe is happening
You're standing right in front of me
With arms wide open
All I know is
Every day is filled with hope
You are everything that I believe for
And I can't help but breathe you in
Breathe again
Feeling all this life within
Every single beat of my heart
You are
You are
Jesus, You are

You are everything

********************************

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

********************************

If everything comes down to love
Then just what am I afraid of
When I call out Your name
Something inside awakes in my soul
How quickly I forget I'm Yours

I'm not my own
I've been carried by You
All my life

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free

When my life is like a storm
Rising waters all I want is the shore
You say I'll be ok and
Make it through the rain
You are my shelter from the storm

I'm not my own
I've been carried by You
All my life

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free
You've become my hearts desire
I will sing Your praises higher
Cause Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free

A verse for the feeling of loneliness: Psalm 27:10 "When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take care of me"

Scheduling, AKA, What We've Been Up To

I've never been a structured, schedule-oriented person. I don't like being confined. I want to do what I want, when I want. I might have a few things I want to get done in a given day, but I also like to get a wild hair and decide I need to run to the craft store for mirror pieces or to WalMart for material, etc. But, my children seem to fare better with structure. Especially Arrena. She likes life ordered and scheduled. She wants to know what we will do next and next after that and next after that and tomorrow and the next day, etc. I believe she would plan out her entire life, including her demise. And she's seven! I know I should be more scheduled--I'd get more done, instead of saying, "where did the day go?"

So, I worked on a summer schedule for us. That way, I manage to fit in fun, housework, and some schoolwork practice. Otherwise, we'll have fun all the time, the house will go to pot, and before I know it, the summer will be over and they will have forgotten everything they learned last year.

We didn't do the schedule last week, just kind of let them have the first week off of school to relax. Then Monday, all the kids had spent the night at their grandmas' houses, so that sort of ruined that day's schedule. But, yesterday, I got busy. I was pleased that things seemed to get done and wondered why I hadn't done this before. I think my problem is that I get stuck on one thing. For example, I will sit down at this glowing screen and get mesmerized and end up surfing the web for half the day. Or, like yesterday, I had scheduled some time for scrapbooking, but I needed to dig out my scrapbooking desk first. I had been throwing stuff on it for weeks and it was a mound of report card, pictures, school artwork, etc. I had an alloted amount of time and it wasn't enough. I had nearly finished, but it was time to move on to something else. So, with great reluctance, I didn't finish the task, I went on to the next item on the schedule. I had to think on my feet a couple of times and rearrange some things (like can't take a shower BEFORE the gardening), but in the end it all worked out.



We took a walk to the little park down the street. Chris won't take the kids there. It doesn't have any equipment, but it's got a large pond and a walking path and lots of ducks to feed. But, it has a big sign out front that says it's for members of the homeowners association only. Well, I disregard this. The only person who could possibly know that I am NOT a member of the homeowners association would be the president and what are the odds that I will run into said president. We have been there maybe five times and only once have I seen another person in the park. What's the worst that could happen? They could tell me to leave? Oh well. Plus, I perform a community service--the kids and I pick up trash when we walk in the park. If that doesn't earn me the right to walk there.... I got a dirty look from one of the neighbors, but I shrugged it off. Later in the day, Billy (well, more me than Billy) planted a garden. The girls helped, but they will be making their own gardens in the coming weeks. Billy's was flowers, Kimmy's will be fruits and veggies, and Arrena's will be cacti.



Today, our schedule was thwarted by the library not opening as early as I had thought, and the YMCA's pool schedule not meshing with my schedule. So, we ended up throwing out the schedule. I worked out at the YMCA, then we went to the library. We went home then, but later came back to the library (they had a live Radio Disney event going on) and then to the pool at the Y. Billy doesn't like the pool too much and just hung around my neck like an albatross the whole time we were there. Then he wanted to go because he insisted he had to "go" bad. No matter that he had on a swim diaper and never worries about "going" in a diaper any other time. Tonight, we went to get ice cream and I had just changed him out of his big boy underwear into a diaper before we left and he stopped in the middle of the ice cream to look down his shorts. After a brief comment by him, I deduced that he felt the urge to "go" and was making sure that he had a diaper on so he could go ahead and relieve himself without interruption to his ice cream feast. {me rolling my eyes} Anyways, I sat down this afternoon and REWROTE my schedule to accommodate the library and the YMCA's hours of operation. Hopefully this schedule will work! I had such a sense of accomplishment yesterday!

Speaking of schedules, I got a new one at work yesterday! We have been dreading this for a couple of months, with a "redo", etc. But, I was happy to find that I had been awarded my 5th choice schedule (they recommended marking down hundreds of choices!), which is not much different than my hours now, but I now get Saturday and Sunday off! YAY! And my new supervisor, in my experience, is the nicest supervisor in the whole plant. So, I must say that I am satisfied!