1-20-2021 Journal Entry, aka Decisions

I've been going along fine the past couple of days and today I just feel sad.  I had a couple of meetings and therapy so I'm worn out.  Tara hugged me and told me I looked sad before I realized it.  I have so many money and life questions and no one to share that burden.  Do I do this or not?  Should I buy this or not?  How do I...?  I'm already tired of being alone.  I guess I was from the beginning.  People aren't supposed to do life alone.  We're meant to do life together.  I feel a lot of fear about the future and about being alone with no protector.  Am I safe?  And we know I suck at small decisions like Billy and the x-box.  How can I handle the big stuff?  Sheesh, I just had therapy today.  I have to wait two more weeks to ask these things.  She'd probably tell me one step at a time.  And now I'm sitting here crying.  I just feel so much weight on my shoulders.  Please, God, help me make good decisions.